(Garfield chases Odie up a tree.)
Jon: Odie! Dogs can't climb trees!
Garfield: It's amazing what one can do when one doesn't know what one can't do.
(19 Jan 1982) Garfield Comic http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Garfield
“It's kind of fun to do the impossible.”
Walt Disney quotes (American motion-picture Producer, pioneer of animated cartoon films. 1901-1966)
For 14 years, I worked in computer labs and tried to keep them up and running. I kept Disney's quote up in my office. When the Garfield comic first ran, I cut it out and put it on my refrigerator. I like Henry Ford's view of the perfect employee. All tackled what someone told them couldn't be done.
I did many things in my life that I told myself I couldn't do. I would ignore my own negative voice put my head down and start moving forward. Sometimes that pace was a crawl but moving forward means you are not moving backward. I would run into a road block and I would think, "Over it, around it, through it, reinvent it." KavinCoach complained about my 'do or die attitude.' Ease up. I was driven to survive. I didn't seem to realize that I could go at a less stressful pace and enjoy the view more. There is one advantage of a driven attitude, you can do the impossible.
When I finally read the paper KavinCoach wrote for my work specifically stating my diagnosis I went to the university library and found 10 books spanning 40+ years of research on multiple personalities. The more I read the more my head spun. I read the early research and thanked God that nobody knew what was wrong with me when I was a teenager. Research and attitudes changed a LOT. After reading all the books I was so grateful that KavinCoach was the one teaching me how to live. He assured me that I was the only one that knew how I would integrate. I had an impossible task with no instructions on how to do it. I prayed and was shown one bit at a time. Here a little, there a little. I kept in counseling, studying, doing homework, writing, taking pictures, remembered many images from my past, I put my head down and kept moving forward.
I am a visual person. I actually think in images. When I thought about integration, I felt like I was on the edge of a deep ravine with a raging river below. I looked both ways but their was no bridge to cross. There were few materials on my side of the bank to build the bridge. I finally stopped looking at integration and started building a better me. I learned to like all the personalities. I learned to get them to cooperate and use their strengths to solve a problem. I stopped trying to cross the ravine and concentrated on becoming a better person every day. I started treating myself with respect. I started to paying attention to what I needed to be healthy. I kept thinking about what kind of person I wanted to be. I worked towards becoming that person. The day I took my Apple Computer Exam and passed it, I walked out of the test exhilarated and said, "I passed it." I was stunned. I had just done the impossible. I realized that day, there was just one I. In my effort to become a better person. I crossed over the ravine to integration. I looked back. The ravine was still there. Still there was no bridge. This is when I knew that while I was focused on improving myself Christ bridged the gap between what I could do for myself and what I couldn't do for myself. I know some people do not believe that Jesus Christ is our savior. I know that some people would discount what I am saying. That is OK. I know for myself that if I did all that I could Christ would make up the difference. I can honestly say I don't know how I did the impossible. I just know that I did my part to improve myself. I did my part to make healthy choices. Christ filled in the missing pieces. I am one personality and I feel like a won an Oscar, the Superbowl, and the Triple Crown. The joy and peace is a feeling that I never experienced as a multiple. I thank my Heavenly Father for blessings I can not count for so great is their number.
Jon: Odie! Dogs can't climb trees!
Garfield: It's amazing what one can do when one doesn't know what one can't do.
(19 Jan 1982) Garfield Comic http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Garfield
“It's kind of fun to do the impossible.”
Walt Disney quotes (American motion-picture Producer, pioneer of animated cartoon films. 1901-1966)
For 14 years, I worked in computer labs and tried to keep them up and running. I kept Disney's quote up in my office. When the Garfield comic first ran, I cut it out and put it on my refrigerator. I like Henry Ford's view of the perfect employee. All tackled what someone told them couldn't be done.
I did many things in my life that I told myself I couldn't do. I would ignore my own negative voice put my head down and start moving forward. Sometimes that pace was a crawl but moving forward means you are not moving backward. I would run into a road block and I would think, "Over it, around it, through it, reinvent it." KavinCoach complained about my 'do or die attitude.' Ease up. I was driven to survive. I didn't seem to realize that I could go at a less stressful pace and enjoy the view more. There is one advantage of a driven attitude, you can do the impossible.
When I finally read the paper KavinCoach wrote for my work specifically stating my diagnosis I went to the university library and found 10 books spanning 40+ years of research on multiple personalities. The more I read the more my head spun. I read the early research and thanked God that nobody knew what was wrong with me when I was a teenager. Research and attitudes changed a LOT. After reading all the books I was so grateful that KavinCoach was the one teaching me how to live. He assured me that I was the only one that knew how I would integrate. I had an impossible task with no instructions on how to do it. I prayed and was shown one bit at a time. Here a little, there a little. I kept in counseling, studying, doing homework, writing, taking pictures, remembered many images from my past, I put my head down and kept moving forward.
I am a visual person. I actually think in images. When I thought about integration, I felt like I was on the edge of a deep ravine with a raging river below. I looked both ways but their was no bridge to cross. There were few materials on my side of the bank to build the bridge. I finally stopped looking at integration and started building a better me. I learned to like all the personalities. I learned to get them to cooperate and use their strengths to solve a problem. I stopped trying to cross the ravine and concentrated on becoming a better person every day. I started treating myself with respect. I started to paying attention to what I needed to be healthy. I kept thinking about what kind of person I wanted to be. I worked towards becoming that person. The day I took my Apple Computer Exam and passed it, I walked out of the test exhilarated and said, "I passed it." I was stunned. I had just done the impossible. I realized that day, there was just one I. In my effort to become a better person. I crossed over the ravine to integration. I looked back. The ravine was still there. Still there was no bridge. This is when I knew that while I was focused on improving myself Christ bridged the gap between what I could do for myself and what I couldn't do for myself. I know some people do not believe that Jesus Christ is our savior. I know that some people would discount what I am saying. That is OK. I know for myself that if I did all that I could Christ would make up the difference. I can honestly say I don't know how I did the impossible. I just know that I did my part to improve myself. I did my part to make healthy choices. Christ filled in the missing pieces. I am one personality and I feel like a won an Oscar, the Superbowl, and the Triple Crown. The joy and peace is a feeling that I never experienced as a multiple. I thank my Heavenly Father for blessings I can not count for so great is their number.
Happy for you that you had your faith to guide you!
ReplyDeleteWHOOHOO!! All things are possible with God.
ReplyDeleteThank you mulderfan and Laurel.
ReplyDelete" I know for myself that if I did all that I could Christ would make up the difference."
ReplyDeleteThis is so beautiful.
Thanks nolongerrunning.
ReplyDelete