Started work yesterday at the school. I fell asleep as soon as I got home and with only a few brief wakeups I slept for 12 hours. It was awesome. I haven't slept 12 hours in years. I feel so much better. I woke up in time to check my comments and head back to school.
The comment I read was from Jonsi. She wrote:
"I wanted to blog about it because I think the "I'm not perfect" excuse is ridiculous. No one is asking ANYONE to be perfect. We're only asking for responsibility, accountability, and respect"
She really captured what I am trying to say. What was even more amazing was what I read afterward while eating breakfast. (I am struggling through a book called Boundaries and Relationships - knowing, protecting, and enjoying the self by Charles L Whitfield. Tough read for me since most of the information is written like he assumes I know what he is talking about. I am suspecting his audience of choice is other counselors not people like me with severe PTSD and no concept of boundaries, healthy or otherwise.)
This was way cool:
"We reclaim our personal power through a process of increasing awareness and by taking responsibility for our well being and functioning: Power = Awareness + Responsibility. And part of that power is by setting boundaries and limits."
Wow. It was like all the things I struggled with wrapping my mind around came together in this one statement. I am not perfect and I am aware I am not perfect and I take responsibility for my imperfections. What I didn't realize that this is a major key to personal power. I now understand when I hear the excuse, "I'm not perfect" or the variation "That's just the way I am" I get so frustrated. It is like the person giving the excuse is wallowing in their imperfection refusing to change anything. Like a pig wallowing in mud, they are content to give away their power to change and improve our relationship. I ain't perfect. If I know I been bad, I have every intention of taking responsibility for what I have done and apologize to the appropriate party involved and learn better ways to behave. I ain't perfect, but I am pretty good. I can keep working on being better because I like being healthy but I am still acceptable as I am right now. As my awareness increases I want to improve myself to meet my new standard of being. But for some people, no matter how good I get, I ain't good enough because they would rather blame me than get out of their own mud. Just a lot of thoughts that seem to have come together with a bang for me. Thanks for the many comments that helped get me here.
I have something fun planned for tomorrow. Enjoy.
Once again, the AA slogan that tells us to strive for "Progress not Perfection" fits the bill!
ReplyDeleteI like the idea that building boundaries is a personal responsibility. It helps avoid self-pity and resentment which are two of the major character defects I discovered when working the fourth step.
Great post!
Hugs P/M
Thanks P/M, I like "Progress not Perfection." That is a great slogan. Self-pity and resentment are two traits NewCounselor is helping me to eliminate from my life. Thanks for the comment.
ReplyDeleteRuth :)
Awareness + Responsibility = Power
ReplyDeleteLove this, but I think it's going to take a while to internalize this.
I agree. I learned there are a few steps between understanding theory and applying it in my life.
ReplyDelete:)
"But for some people, no matter how good I get, I ain't good enough because they would rather blame me than get out of their own mud." Best. Comment. Ever.
ReplyDeleteThanks. :)
ReplyDelete