Saturday, May 20, 2017

5 days and counting

I only have 5 more days of school.  I am feeling like one of the prisoners that marks off each box toward the final day.  I have a ton of stuff to do.  I am also planning summer school classes.  The best way for me to get paid more is to step up by taking classes.  I chose classes that talk about teenage mental health and development.  I am excited about planning fun days mixed in with work days.  Right now I am trying to remind myself not to beat myself up for not healing faster.  It is 2 weeks since I was in a car accident.  I remind myself that broken bones take 8 to 10 weeks to heal.  I did NOT break any bones but the massive bruising is still connecting the dots where my seat belt went.  I noticed today that I can't grip my water bottle with my left hand.  It kept falling out.  When I opened and closed my hand I realized that my elbow is sorer than I thought.  Apparently now that the major bruises are healing I am noticing other damage that also occurred.  I need to get back on track to getting things done and caring for my health.  Reminder, one step forward and two back is a cha-cha. 

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Crap Happens

Today I talked to the fashion students.  I explained why I didn't go into fashion when I was in college the first time.  The 1970's were still steeped in the image of Twiggy.  Pencil thin was in.  I looked into the business and decided it wasn't worth wasting my time on it.  The appearance over personality ratio was lethal in my estimation.  I tried costume design and construction, after staying up 3 days making last minute changes for a director, I decided that was slave labor.  I still plan to design and construct costumes some day when I retire but until then I am teaching students interested in fashion how to cope.  Raising awareness of how brutal fashion business can be.  I teach them if they don't like their life, change it.  My basis, I did it.  Crap happens....on the job, at home, with our health, you name it; crap happens in life.  It is not what are you going to do if crap happens, it is when crap happens what are you going to do?  How are you going to cope?  Coping is a skill.  We learn it.  Most people learn it at home.  I didn't.  I learned it in counseling.  Crap happens.  I have a whole tool chest of coping skills.  They came from my counselor.  Seven long tough years he trained me, taught me, and encouraged me to look at the World differently.  More powerfully, he gave my coping tools so when he moved away, I kept growing....Thriving. 


Sharing

Over the next few days I will be sharing my experiences with high school students that I work with.  Two classes are studying abuse in relation to being teachers and reporting abuse.  One class is a fashion class and I will discuss what I call the slimy underbelly of the fashion world.  I am praying that I stay in tune with the students needs.  This time I told the counselors that I will be having this discussion.  In years past, one or two students end up at the counselors office realizing that they are experiencing one or more forms of abuse.  Recognizing the behavior of the other person is abusive is the first step to getting out of it.  Some people are willing to change when you set boundaries and tell them they need to treat you better.  Other people, not so much.  I feel my job is to bring awareness and give them access to tools to help cope with prickly people.  It is going to be a long 3 days.  One class each day, fashion, early childhood education, and education professions.  I want them to walk away feeling like abuse is not the end of the world.  There is an amazing world waiting to welcome those that break the chains of abuse.  Sometimes walking away from what you think you want is the best thing you can do to create a healthy way of living.

Friday, May 12, 2017

Healing

Last week I was having a perfect day.  I needed to find Christmas lights and I did in May that worked at a thrift store.  I found and collected everything I needed for the Fashion Show last Friday.  I turned on to the street to go the last mile to the school and a car careened into me.  The officer asked me what I saw.  I said, "I drove into the middle lane since the right lane merged into it.  I was going less than the speed limit since I wasn't in a hurry and traffic was light. Then my whole world exploded."  Yup all 3 airbags.  The seat belt tightened up and held me fast.  Everywhere my seat belt was, there are bruises.  Now in varying shades of blue, purple and yellow depending on the depth of the bruise.  I also passed my bone density test.  The fireman that poked and prodded me was impressed that I didn't even break my collar bone.  I later learned from my doctor son that the type of accident that I was in usually causes a broken collar bone, wrist, ribs, and sometimes hips.  Yup, there are bruises in all those places but I walked away.  A witness stopped and told the police what happened.  The driver of the other car got to me first to see if I was ok and make sure the car wasn't on fire.  There was a lot of smoke in the car from the airbags exploding open.  I looked at the tree, wall and stop sign that I missed.  I felt deep gratitude that this could be so much worse.  The other driver was shaken but will walk away too.  He talked to the police.  My DH came, he had the day off, and visited with the other driver and the officer.  I feel deeply relieved that things were not much much worse.  The teacher was able to pick up the supplies for the fashion show.  Sadly, I missed the fashion show.  Perfect days can disintegrate in a split second.  I am pleased with how I handled myself.  I felt what I felt in the moment.  I allowed myself to go home and rest.  I am healing and DH bought a new car that he will pickup tomorrow.  I'm nervous driving but not so much that it is hindering me from doing what I need to do.  Overall the emotion I am embracing is gratitude and praying for the other driver.  His day was really rotten. 


Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Amazing Teachers

I'm always looking and reviewing new research about several subjects crocheting, memory, PTSD, coping, and anything else that I believe can improve my life.  Sometimes I am blessed with a time to be.  Today I enjoyed a concert at my granddaughter's school.  I felt what the music teacher was doing was fantastic.  She used plastic buckets for drums, plastic tubing for making alien noises, and other instruments that made the concert fun and learning fun too.  I am fortunate to work with amazing teachers.  Teacher appreciation month reminds me how many remarkable teachers I had and worked with.  I am also aware that some teachers give other teachers a bad name.  My best teacher was my counselor.  He spent years teaching me how to go beyond survival to thriving.  I am so grateful for amazing teachers. 

Sunday, May 7, 2017

Let kids say no

A friend posted an article on line about allowing her daughters drop out of ballet because they were uncomfortable with the dance.  It was not ballet.  Wiggling their butts at the audience is not dance. 

http://www.carrotsformichaelmas.com/2017/04/29/why-i-pulled-my-daughters-out-of-ballet/

The mother decided to let her daughters quit when they explained they felt embarrassed.  I thought about all the times I was asked to do things like kissing a stranger that I was related to but I didn't know them.  I did things differently for my kids but I still made plenty of mistakes.  We live in a culture that expects every person  to be a dynamic extrovert or should be.  Saying no as a kid is not acceptable in so many places.  I believe that the basics of a kid learning he/she can say no is when they are kids.  My idea with grandkids that they need to get to know me and should only hug me if they want to.  If they don't want to hug me, for any reason, then they shouldn't have to.  I also believe in meeting them at their level by getting down on the ground or sitting down.  Choices are important.  Knowing what is happening at school, in dance class, or other activities is important.  We can't protect kids from every situation but we can up their chances by how we treat them.  Let the kid say no.