Tuesday, June 11, 2019


Found on facebook

It occurred to Pooh 🐻 and Piglet 🐷 that they hadn't heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats 🎩 and coats 🧥 and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood🌲 to Eeyore's stick house. Inside the house was Eeyore.
"Hello Eeyore," said Pooh.
"Hello Pooh. 🐻 Hello Piglet 🐷" said Eeyore, in a Glum Sounding Voice
"We just thought we'd check in on you," said Piglet, "because we hadn't heard from you, and so we wanted to know if you were okay."
Eeyore was silent for a moment. "Am I okay?" he asked, eventually. "Well, I don't know, to be honest. Are any of us really okay? That's what I ask myself. All I can tell you, Pooh and Piglet, is that right now I feel really rather Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All.
Which is why I haven't bothered you. Because you wouldn't want to waste your time hanging out with someone who is Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All, would you now."
Pooh looked and Piglet, and Piglet looked at Pooh, and they both sat down, one on either side of Eeyore in his stick house.
Eeyore looked at them in surprise. "What are you doing?"
"We're sitting here with you," said Pooh, "because we are your friends. And true friends don't care if someone is feeling Sad, or Alone, or Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. True friends are there for you anyway. And so here we are." 💜💚
"Oh," said Eeyore. "Oh." And the three of them sat there in silence, and while Pooh and Piglet said nothing at all; somehow, almost imperceptibly, Eeyore started to feel a very tiny little bit better. 🥰
Because Pooh and Piglet were There.
No more; no less.
* I am sharing this post that I found online - I do not know who wrote it.

I love this.  This to me is what friendship is about.  

Saturday, June 8, 2019


Came across a great quote on Facebook.  I wanted to share. 

They tried to bury us. They didn't know we were seeds.

Tuesday, May 28, 2019

Memorial day

I am posting this the day after Memorial day because I didn't come across the article until late. 

I believe that those that live in the United States may benefit reading this about the Old Guard. 


It is a bit long but it encapsulates the sacredness of the day. 

Monday, May 27, 2019

Pooh and friends

Love Eeyore.  They invite Eeyore along.  Accept that Eeyore is sad and don't expect him to turn into Tigger.  Somewhere along the line Eeyore is now unacceptable.  People would tell Pooh to ditch Eeyore because he will drag you down.  Fortunately Pooh is oblivious of the fact that Eeyore is any kind of a problem. To Pooh, Eeyore is his friend.  Full stop end of story. 

When did grieving become and illness?  When did sad become a crime?  When did emotions become taboo?  Then people can't understand where all this "mental illness" is coming from. 

Humans are emotional creatures.  From the time we are born we express those emotions from an all out wail to soft chuckles.  Parents around the World delight in bringing a happy smile to their baby's face.  Slowly over time expressing those emotions become a "Bad Thing."

Many of my difficulties centered on my inability to feel my emotions.  It is hard to be caring when you don't feel anything at all.  I worked at cutting off my emotions.  They only leaked out occasionally and were rapidly squashed.  I was trained to deny my emotions.  No small wonder why I became emotionally wounded and sp
lit.  I couldn't be their "happy little girl" if I expressed the deep sadness I was feeling.  I was teased for crying, punished for being upset or sad, accused of being a bigger sinner if I got angry about how I was treated....the list went on until I cut off my emotions.  Not that is sad. 

A World without emotions is Gray.....lots of gray or if in England, grey. 

I know a bunch about gray. 

Sunday, May 19, 2019

Expectations clash

One of the groups on Facebook attempted to have mentoring.  I tried with two different people and discovered that our expectations of what mentoring means is quite different.  One gave me no information to go on and when asked what I did for mentoring I mentioned that it depends on the needs of the person and if it matches up with what I know.  Complete miss.  The other wanted someone online willing to talk on the phone.  I'm partially deaf and my children don't try to call me very often.  Another miss.  So I am throwing this out there to anyone that would like to answer....what do you think mental health mentoring would look like?

Thanks for any responses. 

Saturday, May 18, 2019

Too hard too long

Equals collapse. 

Not only does my body hold a grudge, if I push too hard too long it completely collapses on me.  It does not work for me to compare to someone else.  I can't compare myself to the week before.  It is like each activity can have a hefty pay load or fade into easy routine.  For example, a week ago, thanks to parts from the computer class at school, I was able to revive a computer that sat around our house dead for about 6 years.  I pulled off all the files and will donate the XP carcass to the school since it is their parts making it run.  I was elated to get it up and running.  However, seeing some of those files is ripping off emotional scabs left and right.  The sum total - exhaustion. 

I try regular routines that I get fairly good at but life is anything but routine.  It is also nearing the end of school.  I have less to do which means too much time on my hands and my adventurous brain wanders off on forbidden paths of remembering.  I have to remind myself I am also putting my neck out on a few projects that I felt shut down when things went differently than I expected.  I am working at stepping back, surveying the chaos and picking out those pieces that are most useful. 

I believe that each of us have opportunities every day to move forward, sadly fear, habits in thinking, and general inertia keeps us where we are.  Pushing myself to my limits, reminds me fairly rudely that I have limits.  But if I hadn't pushed myself so hard for so long I would still be sitting on the couch 25 hours a day like I did when I was in my 30's.  The reason I am working full time and doing all the things I am doing know was because I refused to live the half life my body was giving me.  I fought back, hard.  Counseling for 10 years is no picnic.  Facing medical field and its overwhelming lack of knowledge about some things is extremely difficult.  Doing my own research instead of trusting their verdict was stepping way out of my comfort zone into a mind field of possibilities.  I learned when my grandson showed up with my physical symptoms, it really isn't all in my head. 

Today I rested...but I still feel tired.  Tomorrow another day of rest that is anything but restful.  Attending church is challenging for me.  So much peopling involved.  However, I really like some of the people.  I learned about being an introvert and it makes sense.  My challenges are physical, emotional and how I am as a person.  My limits are many and I push at them constantly, sometimes they push back. 

Assessing where I am.