Monday, April 10, 2017

Holy Week

The week before Easter starting Palm Sunday on through to Easter is a time when I turn my thoughts more frequently to my Savior.  I also juggled with feelings deeply injured by those that used religion to hurt and harm.  I glanced over a few chapters on a self-help book about emotional abuse.  The author started ranting about this religion or that.  I learned through many years of my own personal research that there are good and bad people in every religion.  Some religions actually attract predators that see church members as sheeple, easy pray.  Abuse survivors share horror story after horror story of those that used religion like a cat-o-nine tail.  Spiritually beating people to death.  Religion becomes a tough subject to share.  Offenses and hurts by those that are offended by an offer to pray for them.  However, put that offer into the context of their experience and I recognize that when I am offering a silken cord they see a coil of barbed wire.  How do I know this?  Because this is how I described it to my counselor.  I knew he was trying to encourage me and give me strength but put into the context of my experience what he offered felt lethal instead of healing.  I went back to basics, tore out all the past lies, and worked through my own beliefs.  I started with, "Do I believe Jesus is the Christ, Son of God, Resurrected living being?"  Yes.  From there I rebuilt my faith from the ground up.  I started over with basics.  I read the scriptures myself.  I put well known scriptures back into contexts.  I sorted through the opinions spouted as facts.  I came to my own understanding that works like an unbroken thread that keeps me moving forward.  God is love.  He sent His Son.  This week I reflect and strengthen the basics. Many abusers see no point in believing in a God that would allow such horrible things to happen.  I think about what happened to His Son and He knows horrible things happen.  The understanding I came to was the Living Christ can heal me with a touch.  I am whole in His sight.  To Him, I can present a broken heart.  I am still working on the contrite spirit. 

I like the New Version of Footprints in the Sand:

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