I saw a beautiful rainbow this morning with a jet flying right through it. I realized that the people in the jet can't see the rainbow. In the middle of the storm, we can't see the rainbows, it is only when we look back at a distance.
Many PTSD gurus tell people to not look back at their past. Going into counseling he started with present day issues but I kept tripping up on the assignments. He finally asked me about my past. What past? I didn't have any past? Not remembering my past did not resolve the issues that lingered like a dark cloud. As I struggled with memories and suffered increasing anxiety I was in a middle of a storm. I couldn't see the rainbows. Now, I am reviewing my past and how I changed my reactions in the present and I see the amazing things I was taught. The tools, validation, self care, and so many blessings were unnoticed in the middle of the storm. However, now when I look back I see the amazing things that I was taught and happened inside of me. I actually enjoy looking back now to see how far I come and admire the storm and the rainbows at a distance.