My sister shared a her post about handling failure. I read through the article she shared and thought about it for quite a while. I didn't handle failure way. I would go into complete collapse or a frenzy of activity to fix whatever I believed I messed up. Counseling taught me some other options. This is the list presented by Grace for my Heart...
The blame game accomplishes nothing. It is like throwing dust in the air trying to hide a glaring mistake. But I've seen it work very well for some people. To me the down side of the blame game is fingers are pointed, blame allocated but nothing gets done to fix the problem.
Attack....heard tell that the best defense is a strong offense. Attack when cornered is what a wounded animal does....some people are wounded animals. This doesn't work because more effort is put into the attack than it would be to solve many problems. Attacking is a more aggressive blame game in my opinion.
Lies....I was raised in lies. Took years of counseling to sort out truth, opinions, and the outright lies I was raised in. Yup, I've used this method to try to escape consequences of my behavior. From those experiences, I figure lying about a problem is like running into a pool of quick sand to try to get away, you get sucked down instead.
Rationalizing....very tricky, to me these are the lies I tell myself so that I don't have to be accountable for a screw up. Like blaming, it is dust in the eyes with little hope of change.
Whining....My counselor so would not let me use this one. Depending on his mood and how whiny I sounded he either asked, "Do want cheese with that whine?" or if I was sunk deeply into whining he offers to send for a wambulance. If I catch myself whining, I search for what the root problem is, then set goals and create a plan to correcting things if possible.
Quit...This to me is the easiest. Sometimes I want to crawl in a hole and drag the dirt in after me. Then I think of Winston Churchill....that stubborn Brit. "Never, never, never give up."
Old Winston had it right, 'If you're going through hell, keep going.'
When I decided that quitting was not an option, it put me in a place where I had to find a solution. What was awesomely cool, I did find answers.
|Obstacle in a mud run|