Friday, September 25, 2015
Setup for Success
Such an awesome feeling. I thought all week how to describe my experience last weekend. However, you need a bit of back ground information first. I was raised in a home where I was setup to fail. If I happened to be successful, the rules would be changed so that I failed. If I received a compliment there was a but at the end that negated everything that came before the but. I saw myself as a failure because my parents saw me as a failure. Then counseling happened. The lies, unreasonable expectations, the manipulations were brought under examination. Sadly, I still set myself up to fail. It was what I knew. Two years ago, I read an article about using martial arts as a way to cope with PTSD. After 10 years of counseling, I was ready to try. I planned to go for one session at the community Karate class. When the teacher explained I wouldn't get a belt right away, I responded that I didn't plan to get one at all. So I began studying Kempo Karate. After the first year I earned the rank of yellow belt. I finished two years and last week end I earned my orange belt. I get very nervous during tests. One of the required moves is the Kata. I blew it completely. Half way through my mind went blank. I learned two Katas and I scrambled them in my mind. My teacher understood what happened and during the recheck portion of the test he had me do the first Kata then the second one. I passed both. He set me up to succeed. I worried while I waited that I messed up too many times to pass. Peace came over me. If I didn't pass, without condemnation, he would have me try again and again until I succeeded. The awesomeness of working with my teacher in Karate he sets me up for success. I feel so awed and cherished from this experience. I feel like what I do is important and he will teach me so that I succeed and keep on succeeding. If you use martial arts for PTSD, I hope you have teacher just like mine.