Monday, December 28, 2015

Had a Merry Christmas

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas.  For many, myself included, Christmas is a delightful challenge for others it is a challenge.  We made it.  Hugs to everyone.  I finally got 4 strings of light on the Christmas tree and took the tree down today.  There were years that we took the tree down on Christmas day.  I am adjusting for the idea that my body will crash.  Rather than fight it I planned for it.  So far, still upright. 

I didn't use my camera much.  I embraced the events instead of technically capturing the 'best' shot of everything.  It was nice but I think next year I'll go back to taking more pictures.  Interesting to realize I actually engage more when I take pictures.  I tend to be an observer of events.  Taking pictures I am more engaged observer.  Progress not perfection as Flylady writes it.  I think AA uses the same quote so I don't think it is a Flylady original.  Back to the subject. We made it through another Christmas and this year we have one extra day to prepare....thanks Leap Year. 

Now it is time to reflect on the year.  Part of my truth campaign is to honestly evaluate my progress this year.  I'll keep in mind rule #1 "Stopping lying, especially to yourself."  KavinCoach also taught me to give myself credit for doing things right.  I often gloss over the good things and focus on the fails.  When I do that, I awfulize my own life.  When I recognize the good things I am doing,  acknowledge my own progress, I become my own cheerleader.   KavinCoach at the end of every session would tell my how well I was doing.  It took me years to believe him.  Now I believe him and myself when I recognize I did something well.  I also learned to recognize something I didn't do well without feeling a need to punish myself.  Yup.  I can punish myself better than any abuser.  I work at acknowledging mistakes or areas that I need to improve.  If I need to apologize to someone else for a mistake then I try to do that.  I don't always get it right.  Too often in my effort to apologize I sound like I am making excuses.  Again, I am working on progress.  I also learned the my most important things in my life Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, family, and friends.  Then come coworkers, people at church, neighbors and strangers.  After all my years of living, I finally learned that the relationships in my life are far more important than what I do in life.  However, what I do in life can either strengthen or weaken my relationships.  Interesting how interconnected do, being, and loving become.  Faith comes from hoping and hope comes from having faith.  Pray works when I put faith into my thoughts and words.  Prayers bounce of the ceiling if I have no intention of following through with anything I pray about.  My thoughts swirl around and around at this time of year. 

For me, cleaning is a good way to keep my hands busy while my mind ponders where am I at right now and what goals I plan for next year.  One of the ones that surprised me was a couple of years ago I planed to loose a lot of weight.  I did.  I lost 30 lbs.  What shocked me was how critical and down right mean I became.  I joked that I make a 'mean skinny.'  I put the weight back on but I know that isn't healthy.  This year I am going to work on healthy choices.  I tried following several health gurus on line.  One quit posting, one wants to sell me something new everyday and another one tells me he has something great to tell me then spends 15 minutes telling me that it is a great thing until I walk away and he still hasn't told me the great thing he was going to tell me.  Bust on 3 accounts.  New approach this year.  I know a lot about what I need to do that is healthy.  I need to take the time to do what I already know.  Interesting.  I need to write that down into a specific goal to make it useful.  Not sure how I'll do that yet.  I give myself to the end of January to set up yearly goals.  I don't do New Year Resolutions because I hate that breaking glass sound when I break them in a week or two.   I can have a goal back slide and still achieve what I wish to do by the end of the year. 

Broken Resolutions

No comments: