Thursday, December 17, 2015

Minimum Christmas

September I took a giant step backwards.  Several events hit me hard at my core beliefs.  I am just now starting to recover unfortunately that puts a bit of crunch time on Christmas.  No cookies, no decorations, no packages sent, 4 Christmas cards made it out the door, not a good start on the holiday.  I remember a conversation with KavinCoach.  He asked me, "What is the advantage of hitting bottom again?"  With a twisted smile I answered, "It is familiar territory." 

The answer he was looking for is I know what I need to do to get back in the game of life again.  I know that I need to stop extra activities, pull back from routine things, even ones I enjoy.  Minimize, reduce, and make choices of self care.  Not an easy task.  I was raised to put myself last.  I learned it by example and expectations given to me.  I learned it well.  Now, I am breaking a lifetime of habits and creating a new life path.  My second counselor explained it by saying that habits are like ruts gouged by water.  Eroding into my mind a set way of doing things.  To change that path I choose to create new channels and new habits, sadly in times of high stress, I slip back into old habits. 


Judy said...

The old one is easy, which is a preference when everything is hard. Celebrate what you didn't slip back into; celebrate what you have done new. The decorations, etc, are extras; they are not Christmas. You have accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior. You celebrate Christmas every day.

Ruth said...

Thanks Judy. Hugs.

mulderfan said...

One good thing about hitting bottom is the only way to go is up. Besides, I know you. You got this kiddo!

Ruth said...

Thank you mulderfan.