I landed in ER on Friday. Stomach problems have plagued me for over 15 years. I can't have soda. I drink lots of water and I noticed over the last six months that swallowing was getting harder. (I can choke on a banana.) Last Wednesday I bit off more than I could swallow and it stuck. On Friday, I finally called the doctor on my way back home from work and explained the situation. He recommended a trip to the ER. I beat his call so they treated me like an unreasonable child wasting their time. Then the call came in and I was whisked away to emergency surgery to scope and pull out the hotdog plugging the top of my stomach. Sure enough the problem was worse than expected. I came home delighted to be able to eat. I realized it was a blessing that the scope was done and hopefully caught the problems early enough to heal the problems without more surgery. Unfortunately, a few people have an negative reaction to the drug used to relax my esophagus to allow the camera down my throat. Every time I move, cough, or laugh my muscles cramp. I did not realize until I tried walking up stairs that all my muscles can cramp and hurt at the same time. Fuzzy brained and hurting I am struggling with recognizing what a blessing this is. The medical care was amazing. My body can really kick my butt, however, they were able to do a biopsy to help them know how big a mess I am in. Fortunately, the internet provided me with the information as to what was happening with my body post surgery. Tonight is the first time since Friday that I am starting to see the bright side of this cloud. December is a rough month and I am struggling with adding this into the mix of all my other churning emotions. I love the holidays and I hate the unreasonable expectations frenzy. I'm trying to slow my thinking. Remind myself that I am not required to do everything. Now, I can't do anything. If moving hurts, the likelihood of doing anything greatly reduces. I hope each of you are finding ways to give yourself a break and let go of situations and events that hurt rather than help this holiday season.