Thursday, April 5, 2018

Building confidence

Something I am learning watching at school and my own experience, confidence like happiness in and inside job.  Students all given a trophy do not have confidence.  Compliments from my counselor and others does not build my confidence.  All winning with the easy button does not build confidence.  When I look for outside praise to build my confidence, like a house of cards it all falls down.  So how do I build confidence?

I was praying for an answer to this question.  I read an article on one of the military web pages about using martial arts to build confidence.  I scoffed that is great for military people but what about me? The next time I prayed about building confidence, the answer to my prayer, "I gave you an answer and you didn't listen, why should I give you another answer until you are willing to try what is given?"  Made me think. 

When my children were teenagers they were involved with city park and recreation judo program.  I couldn't sit in the same room as the classes.  I took my kids then sat outside the door waiting for it to end.  I felt like a terrible mother that couldn't support her children by watching them succeed.  Thinking about taking any martial arts class made my stomach heave.  I decided one-on-one lessons first.  I started with basic self defense.  I didn't pass out.  I didn't like it either.  However, I did prove to myself I could do it.  When the teacher made excuses not to meet with me (yes, I was paying him) I went looking for somewhere else to go.  I look at several web pages that bragged about how face their people earned belts and the competitions they one, I wasn't interested.  I decided to join the city parks and recreation karate class. 

I was terrified the first day.  I was worried I would be the oldest one there....I wasn't.  I was worried that my physical limitations would stop me....they slow me down but I can do things now I couldn't do as a teenager.  Tonight, I found out that building confidence is recognizing that I worked through and over came difficult challenges.  I tested tonight at karate and earned a stripe on my belt.  It is not another belt, a stripe on the belt.  I feel so good.  I worked hard.  I experienced difficult challenges and it took me over 2 years to meet my goal.  I did it.  I highly recommend martial arts to people interested in building confidence.  However, I also suggest you do your home work that the place you are learning is more interested in building character than a trophy case.  Nothing wrong with earning trophies as long as they are a side result of the character building. 

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