STOP THE BOAT!!!!!!!!!
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory has a scene in a boat where things get more and more intense until Willy Wonka shouts, "STOP THE BOAT." Everything stops. When my counselor first told me I could do the same thing, I didn't believe him. I felt so out of control and so baffled where all the anxiety was coming from. STOP is a powerful word. Sometimes I use distractions like computer games or art to help my mind slow down and finally come to a stop. Why stop? During stop I can sit with my emotions the hurt ones, the scared ones, the frustrated ones, the angry ones, all clamoring for attention. When I stop I take the time to pay attention. My emotions no longer need to scream to get my attention. Some people call this paying attention to the inner child. In some ways that spiraling down frantic feeling is my inner child throwing a temper tantrum trying to get what she needs because I ignored her for too long. Stop. Listen. Stop spinning all the problems together and breathe...take apart all the separate pieces. Stop trying to solve all the different problems at once.
Part of my spiraling down is a reaction to too many problems coming at me at once. I need to stop and sort things out.....
1. Which problems are actually my problems? Part of my past behavior was taking on my abuser's problems trying to please them by 'fixing' things for them. Of course, I can't fix someone else's problem so I failed and felt more frustrated. Learning to recognize a problem not being mine to solve is a big help.
2. Which problems are bigger than I am? These kind of problems I turn over to Heavenly Father, big problems are His department.
3. Which problems need more information? Sometimes I need more information to solve a problem. Or maybe a new perspective will resolve the issue.
4. Which problems need to be broken down into smaller problems? No one eats an elephant in one meal. Break down problems into more manageable pieces. SMART goals come in handy for this. I wrote about SMART goals in this post https://weareone-ruth.blogspot.com/2014/12/planning-or-not.html
5. Accepting that I am not going to solve all my problems in one night. Be kind to myself as I tackle different problems one or two at a time.
STOP my downward spiral. STOP my spinning thoughts. Use my self-care tools, art tools, and planning/creativity tools. I have options. Thriving is not a problem free life. Thriving is tackling problems and finding a way through each challenge.
Rocky Theme song played here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5VHYP1jZho
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5VHYP1jZho
I found my fight song.
Plants can split rocks to survive and thrive.
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