Saturday, December 4, 2010

You don't know?

I get frustrated when I learn some new thing about life that most people learned as a child.  When I was venting my frustration, KavinCoach simply said, "You don't know what you don't know."  I had to puzzle over this for several weeks.  (I am a little slow sometimes.)  I finally understood that I didn't know enough to ask the right questions.  I reflected back to when I was first learning to trouble shoot and repair computers.  I took one class on servers where most of the information seemed like a crash course on an alien world.  The teacher asked the question at the end what we got out of the class.  I simply replied, "I can read my computer magazines."  First starting out I was so lacking in knowledge that I couldn't even ask a dumb question.  I had nothing to draw on.  I was so clueless on interpersonal relationships, I couldn't ask the right questions.  When I read self help books, the authors were talking over my head.  I wasn't stupid, I just didn't know.  "You don't know what you don't know!"


mulderfan said...

Having had only fleeting glimpses into "normal" families, I too, had nothing to draw on. For instance, I always thought holidays like Xmas were occasions to be endured not enjoyed! I was blown away that my friend's mum helped her out by babysitting now and then!

Ar first, I felt really stupid as I began to realize how screwed up my childhood had been. Now I understand that I am not the screw up here, they are.

Ruth said...

One of the nice things about counseling, I learned that I wasn't a crazy kid, I was a kid trying to survive a crazy world.

Jasmine said...

"I'm not stupid" was the phrase that ran through my brain like a ticker tape throughout my childhood. I was d**n right! My Nparents were the stupid crazy people, not me!

A quick college memory: I was 23, having dinner with my new apartment roommates,when they started acting really weird. One girl asked the other how her day went. The reply was friendly and upbeat. On and on it went like this. Friendly banter back and forth--no complaining, gossiping, criticizing??? I was bewildered and struck dumb. I tried to figure out why they were being so proper and fake in front of me.

Many years later I felt angry that my childhood meal times were full of nf nonchalantly ordering my mom to get him more this and that while he kept up a constant barrage of negative conversation.
Needless to say, my two brothers and I became VERY FAST EATERS.

I'm soooo grateful those days are long gone. DH and I enjoy our meals together. I love cooking for the two of us and also my 25 yo son:) I'm looking forward to cooking home made chili tomorrow and baking Christmas cookies with my son soon. Life is Good!!

Ruth said...

Jasmine, I am glad to hear that you can enjoy your meals now. :)