Monday, January 11, 2016

Rule number 1

My counselor took great pains to point out how often I lied to myself.  All the soothing lies of "it's not that bad", "I'm just fine", "If I do the right things then they will love me."  He carefully pointed out and underlined how messed up my life was and how bumbling I am in relationships.  He then worked with me many long years trying to make me into a human that wouldn't accidentally or on purpose hurt other humans.  Some days, I simply back off from all humans.  I can't do it.  Then morning comes.  My alarm rings and God gives me another chance to show I am different.  I am an old dog that can learn new tricks....that is what repentance is all about, second chances to do things differently.  Often people cringe at the word repentance, I rejoice, Heavenly Father gave us a recipe for change and Christ made it possible for the process to work.  I embrace repentance.  I love the opportunity for me to make new beginnings.  I believe that is the most joyous thing about the New Year it reminds everyone they have opportunities everyday to change and do things differently.  I messed up in life, I'll mess up again.  I'll go through the steps of first stop lying to myself.  Admit how I messed up.  Commit to change and set the change in motion.  The older I get the more beautiful repentance becomes.  However it all starts with rule number 1, stop lying especially to yourself.

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