Friday, May 27, 2016

Emotional abuse

One of the articles I read discuss 6 forms of emotional abuse and give examples of each kind.

 1. Rejecting

2. Ignoring
3. Terrorizing

4. Isolating

5. Corrupting

6. Exploiting  

I read through each of the example lists and answered yes on most of them.  Then I went back through the list and thought, how many have I done to someone else?  I felt sick to my stomach when I realized that habits from childhood spilled over onto my children and others I interact with.  Many times I did these less severely than was done to me but that was part of the problem.  My abuse was so severe I didn't recognize my mild forms as abusive also.  When my counselor pointed out some of my behaviors I started to work immediately to correct what I was doing.   Sometimes I realize that someone else may interpret my need to withdraw and have down time as rejecting or ignoring them.  Not my intent.  My need to be alone and sort out information from the day has nothing to do with them.  However, my behavior comes across as ignoring them.  I am working on better communication to indicate when I need time alone.  I try not to do the very things that I was raised on.  Changing my life included changing how I treat others.  I am not always successful.  When angry, I can lash out like the worst of them.  I pass on my corrupted thinking.  I inadvertently terrorize others when I share what is in my head.  I actually had one counselor ask me not to purposely say awful things to offend him.  Well, I didn't know what his definition of awful was.   It did wake me up to the concept that what goes on inside my head everyday is not what most people want to hear.  I do need to curb my spewing out to protect those that I care about.  It is why I pay a counselor to hear my yucky stuff so those I love don't need to hear it. I can't change my abusers but I can change how I behave.  I don't need to pass on what was done to me.  The abuse buck can stop with me. 


mulderfan said...

I've explained my need to withdraw to friends and family. I say "I can't do this right now."
IMO "right now" is the key. Means I'll be back when my health allows me to handle the situation. It's sort of like a commercial break and then the TV show resumes.
More self-care taught to me by my serious health issues.

Ruth said...

Communication and following through on later are important to help strengthen relationships when battling big challenges, either health or PTSD/CPTSD.