Sunday, May 15, 2016

I'm back

I solved my "what if I became a teacher."  I now know I would be too exhausted to do anything else.  I come home, my body and brain are drained of all energy.  I sit on the couch feeling numb.  I am thankful for the experience of substitute teaching for the last 4 months but I am so done.  My admiration for teachers has gone up tremendously.  If you are a teacher, please give yourself a thank you from me for all you do, put up with, and still attempt to teach at all.  I'm sad that common core is obliterating the recognition that different students need different teaching.  People are not cars and cannot be churned out assembly line style.  Some of my students are facing challenges so much bigger than the difference between 3/8ths and 3/4ths of an inch.  Yes, this information is helpful to know but so much about school is about supporting the district and their need to exist rather than about the student and there need to learn.  I will now get off my soap box. 

I spent the last 4 months not reading any of the blogs I follow.  Not keeping up with house work.  Police would think we were robbed and the house ransacked, sadly it is just me without enough energy to put away the dishes, clothes, groceries, pretty much everything is left a mess.  I remember doing this to myself before.  I remind myself I didn't slip as dangerously low as last time.  The advantage of spiraling down to the bottom is I know the territory.  I know what I need to do to get back up.  First acknowledge that I am in free fall down.  Second, put back in place the techniques and methods that I know work.  Third, don't beat myself up over it happening.  I will get myself back together and life will continue on. 

Applying air brakes


Tundra Woman said...

So glad to see you, Ruth. I know you're exhausted. You do nothing half way, ever-You pour your heart and soul into it.
That's why you touch so many other's.

Ruth said...

Thanks TW.