Monday, May 2, 2016

What if?

What if? A pesky question that haunt and annoy.....


What if I was never abused?
What if I never married?
What if I traveled the world instead of staying home?
What if I finished my engineering degree?
What if I became a teacher like I wanted to?

What if's can push a person right over the edge of reasonable thinking.  It is looking back and much like the Mirror of Erised in Harry Potter it benefits no one and robs what is.  My recent what if that was exposed to reality, "What if I became a teacher like I wanted to?"  Yes, my parents refused to help me with my college education if I went into teaching.  The past 3 months I worked as a part time substitute teacher.  I   AM    EXHAUSTED.   I would burn out in a year.  I considered carefully before agreeing to work next year.  I enjoy working as an instructional assistant I come home ready to take on what ever is happening at home.  After a day as the teacher, I come home and stare at the wall.  I can barely follow the plot of a TV program and half the time fall asleep in the middle of a conversation.  I am too tired to do anything else.  That what if is not resolved.  It is a good thing I did not become a teacher. 


2 comments:

Jenafer Bauerle said...

The thing I found after being placed on disability; I am a teacher, every day. My children learn many things from me, whether I want them to learn them or not. Your children learned lessons such as dedication, perseverance, admitting mistakes, accepting help, and being independent in trials. They ;earned to love God to turn to their Savior and to always know that, while imperfect, love exists in many forms. You did good.

Ruth said...

Teaching happens everyday. Thank you for the compliment. Profession of teacher is way different.