http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2016/04/30/5-signs-of-covert-narcissism
I wish I had read this last fall. My sister warned me that I missed the signs...but I wasn't ready to listen.
1. False Humility
2. Lack of Empathy
3. Immature Responses
4. Simplification of Others’ Needs
5. Unable to Listen
I am frustrated with myself that I was sucked up into the entanglement of someone being nice to use me. However, as I thought about it, I prefer to err on the side of kindness. I wish I didn't take it so personal. I also learned that happiness is not at the bottom of a chocolate ice cream container but I feel better for checking just to be sure.
4 comments:
These types know you err on the side of kindness and use it against you. Sad but true.
Maybe you're like me and have the initials DM tattoed on your forehead...Door Mat.
I've decided it's perfectly OK to send them to Walmart for a doormat. They're brand new and under $10.
Yay for any experiment involving ice cream or candy, the benefits are undeniable.
On a more serious note, I could not agree more with you that realizing that one is too kind can actually open the door to appreciating oneself. I realized at one point in dealing with my mom that what she had done was to use my capacity for empathy and loving to control me. I used to be so afraid of intimacy in relationships, but then I realized that I am good at that stuff unless someone is abusing my empathy. Which means, that if you remove the abusive person, I am in fact perfectly capable of building and maintaining, and even re-building close friendships and my family relationships. That was fabulous to realize in my own mind because my mom had me convinced that I was in fact no good with people. Projection is strong with her.
Projection is a powerful part of abusing a person. Thanks for this insight. I appreciate you pointing out that removing the abusive person is the key.
Learning to set boundaries I turned in my DM status. I still feel used occasionally, but now I know how to get up and stop it.
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