I am home for the summer since my job as a teacher assistant follows the school year. I spent most of June on the road with my daughter and her two kids. We had a blast visiting and talking for 3 weeks. Now I am home. I leave the house as little as possible. I have to make scheduled appointments with people so I will leave the house. I am not doing much at home either. It is like I've gone into summer hibernation. Storing up energy and quiet time before the onslaught of school again. I know myself. If I stayed home, I would isolate myself more and more. I have to work at staying engaged with people. It is super easy for one day to slip into another without wandering very far. I am learning more about being an introvert. Many of the behaviors of an introvert I assigned to PTSD. Now I am sorting out which is which. One TED talk explained that introverts are affected how they perceive the World and interact with people. I need alone time. I need to sit quietly interacting with no one. The TV may be on for noise but I want to be alone a lot. But I also enjoy visiting with my sister when she comes to visit and DH when he gets home. Then I want to be alone again. It is like I can't get enough of being a lone and I don't feel lonely. Still sorting how this all works. Integration quieted the voices in my head. I still feel complete but the constant chaos is quiet. Hmmm I haven't thought about this in this way.
Today I went to visit some of my grandchildren and their mom. I had a lovely morning. I enjoyed our time together. Now, I am here with my computer sitting quietly. TV is yammering on but I have no idea what is happening in the show. I'm ok with that. Maybe I just need down time. Not sure.
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