Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Summer Hibernation

I am home for the summer since my job as a teacher assistant follows the school year.  I spent most of June on the road with my daughter and her two kids.  We had a blast visiting and talking for 3 weeks.  Now I am home.  I leave the house as little as possible.  I have to make scheduled appointments with people so I will leave the house.  I am not doing much at home either.  It is like I've gone into summer hibernation.  Storing up energy and quiet time before the onslaught of school again.  I know myself.  If I stayed home, I would isolate myself more and more.  I have to work at staying engaged with people.  It is super easy for one day to slip into another without wandering very far.  I am learning more about being an introvert.  Many of the behaviors of an introvert I assigned to PTSD.  Now I am sorting out which is which.  One TED talk explained that introverts are affected how they perceive the World and interact with people.  I need alone time.  I need to sit quietly interacting with no one.  The TV may be on for noise but I want to be alone a lot.  But I also enjoy visiting with my sister when she comes to visit and DH when he gets home.  Then I want to be alone again.  It is like I can't get enough of being a lone and I don't feel lonely.  Still sorting how this all works.  Integration quieted the voices in my head.  I still feel complete but the constant chaos is quiet.  Hmmm I haven't thought about this in this way. 

Today I went to visit some of my grandchildren and their mom.  I had a lovely morning.  I enjoyed our time together.  Now, I am here with my computer sitting quietly.  TV is yammering on but I have no idea what is happening in the show.  I'm ok with that.  Maybe I just need down time.  Not sure. 

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