Monday, January 9, 2017


I was worried with going off my thyroid medicine would toss me back into deep depression.  I realized my body feels depressed but my emotions are functioning.  In the last two weeks I had highs and lows, I'm feeling all of them.  My emotions are varied.  I am learning that sad is different from depression.  Sad for an identifiable reason, like pointing to a bruise and saying it hurts here.  Happy can intermingle with sad.  I was sad our dog died but I was relieved she was out of pain and able to run again in Heaven...yes, I believe all dogs go to Heaven.  Going off my thyroid medicine is messing with me in several other unpleasant ways.  One of the tough ones is having a chill down.  The room is normal temperature or even hot and I am shivering like I am barefoot in the snow.  My body aches after shivering for 20 or 30 minutes.  Blankets help, sometimes I resort to hot chocolate to warm from the inside out.  I don't know how to describe this feeling of feeling cold inside no matter what the outside temperature might be.  Insomnia is worse.  Sleeping is worse.  I am craving salt like crazy.  I bought a bag of salty corn chips and almost finished them myself within a few days.  This is what gets tricky about PTSD and illness and what is normal any way?  Oh yea, a setting on the drier.  Next week I take the medical test that I went off my medication for to prepare my body to share what is happening inside.  I wonder if doctors ever stop to think what will happen to their client when they ask them to endure some of these tests? 


Tundra Woman said...

You have my empathy, Ruth. Yeah, I wonder if anyone besides an Endocrinologist would even begin to understand how horrible being off thyroid meds truly feels. After I had a total thryroidectomy, I had to wait six weeks before replacement therapy began to ensure all the naturally produced hormones were out of my body and it.was.hell. I had my bathrobe or clothes on and off every five minutes. I called it the freeze/broils. I got puffy as hell and depressed, sluggish and irritable. At least I was somewhat prepared for it but anytime I hear someone discussing their menopause symptoms now I make sure I clench my mouth shut in a tight grin and nod a lot: Menopause was nothing comparatively for me. I went through both with some overlap, back to back.

Of course, because they're so potent replacement meds never exceeds .25 mcg. at a time sooooo....about-well, it doesn't matter how long it took but eventually I got to a level that was acceptable to my Endo as well as me. I don't even know how you're getting out of your own way never mind working. I'll take my decades of being hyper over hypo any day. With the former I got stuff done; with the latter I was done. I hope you don't have to wait too much longer.

Just thought of something-you weren't just taken off your replacement meds all at once were you? As in, no titration down?

Ruth said...

Merry Christmas you won't take your medication for the next 6 weeks. This is not a fun game. I have a much deeper appreciation for the proper balance of medications. I will make this. Test in 5 more days. No salt, no fish, no possible sources of iodine. I'm counting the days to get through this.
Thanks for understanding.