That was Different

One of the blogs I followed shared an article in Psychology Today how childhood doesn't really effect us as adults.  The other writer spoke up and I decided to add my two cents.

My input:
Myth of your own-

 "What such conclusion fails to consider is the fact that those who had chaotic childhoods and ended up untroubled do not show up at psychologists’ offices; and they happen to be the majority."


You leave out the possibilities that people do not go to see therapist for a huge variety of reasons, fear, shame, misunderstanding the process, concern about being fired from a job, and the list goes on.  In reality there is no way to measure why people do not see a therapist.  Your conclusion that if you do not see a therapist than you are not troubled by your childhood to me is a bit of a leap.  


Now I do agree with you that as adults we can choose how our past will effect us.  From the tone of your article you did not have a childhood from hell.  Like all things in life, childhoods come on a continuum.  I happened to have one of those childhoods from hell that I didn't remember most of it.  My childhood does effect my behavior.  I am not violent.  I am troubled.  And I am blessed with getting competent counseling.  I would not be where I am today without acknowledging and accepting that my childhood influenced my adult behavior. 

Triggers were my first introduction to the influence my childhood had on my adult behavior.   Like nightmarish land mines: if a smell, picture, or event duplicated my past I would react in ways that made no sense to my adult reasoning.  Big enough trigger could cause a flash back with devastating results.  Trying to have a feel good approach that you don't need to worry about how you treat your children comes across callous and unfeeling.  From his response to comments it was not his intent to sound callous.  I will be interested if he responds.  I suspect he will answer since he is a teacher and probably can't resist proving his point.  Thanks Upsi for sharing your response.  
NEW:
Thanks Upsi for some more wonderful comments on the article.  I stopped commenting because I recognized in the author that type of 'I am right and you are wrong no matter how illogical I sound.'  The thought of pounding my head against the wall didn't appeal to me.  I am super proud of Upsi.  I am glad to know that there are people like her defending children.