Before integration, there was no such thing as a nice calm day. My mind went five different directions daily. Now, sometimes I have a nice calm day. Not too much going on. Take time to play a computer game. Breathe deeply and only breathe calm....BORING. Before integration, I never felt bored. If there was a lull one of the other personalities took over cause they wanted a turn or a stressor triggered a change...BORING NEVER. Even pit stops, were a crazy scramble and race to rearrange everything to keep going. After integration, KavinCoach asked me about my first shared emotion. He was expecting anger or happy...He was not expecting me to say that bored was the first shared emotion. Bored is a horrible feeling. True after living on a five lane highway for years a brief stop now and again can be really nice but dead stopped bored explains a lot about the deaf sign for bored http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeNXKnNfq2A Last week, I was feeling frustrated in my job because I was so bored. Well this week started out with a bang, a field trip and tons to do. I feel much better. I don't like bored...boring...Give me something to do. I noticed that when I am dead tired I do things that look boring but in reality I am just this side of unconscious. I still have trouble sleeping so refusing to sleep I may watch TV or play a computer game. Vegging, down time, meditating are not boring. A change of pace is sometimes needed. I decided that boring occurs when someone else has some claim on my time either through politeness or employment are expecting me to wait. I learned I am really bad at just waiting around. This is how I end up late for something. I find something else to do that takes longer than I expect it to do. When I had a party going on inside all the time, bored was not an option. I am learning a few creative ways to reassess how I spend my time. I talked with the teacher I work with and found several creative projects I can work on when I don't have something else to do. I don't like the maniac tearing all over the place but I do like a steady flow of things to do. I really enjoy when I have an opportunity to play with one of the grand kids. Or help with something like cutting up fruit for a family gathering. For some people, these activities are boring. For me, it either allows me to play on the edge of childhood or share in a service that will bring people that I love together. Boring is viewed differently by people, there are some that will run to the brink of self destruction trying to get away from feeling bored. I learned I am easily entertained. Building up blocks for a toddler to knock down could be done for a long time. Their expressions share a wealth of pleasure. Pleasure is not boring. :)
1 comment:
I love 'pleasure is not boring', thanks.
Post a Comment