Numbing addictions

Ruthless Compassion Institute

When you find yourself engaging in activities designed to numb or distract yourself from painful emotions, think twice. Almost invariably, these compulsive self-soothing, self-numbing, distracting behaviors are more hurtful to you than your feelings could ever be.
All addiction, in my opinion, is a misguided attempt to take care of your unmet emotional needs & unhealed emotional wounds, including the pain you're sitting on. This could be recent hurts or losses, or old emotions from your distant past that are now surfacing. Remember that when you were little, you weren't really strong enough to tolerate these feelings but today, as a conscious, empowered adult, you're perfectly capable of doing so. You can face & grieve your hurts & losses & come out stronger on the other side.
Addiction causes terrible health & life consequences, & besides, every time you engage in it, you're not attending to your real needs, so these needs remain at the forefront of your psyche, demanding to be addressed. If you don't really deal with them, you're doomed to a vicious circle of needs & feelings clambering to be dealt with, compulsive self-soothing/numbing/distracting, & those same needs & feelings still bubbling under the surface, asking to be addressed. Break the vicious circle by facing the feelings inside you. You're bigger & stronger than your pain.

Most of the time when addictions are mentioned most people think of drugs and alcohol. However, I expanded that list to include other activities that I used to numb my feelings reading books, eating, computer games, work, and many other things that I used to numb my thinking process.  Business is one of the top.  I would get so busy saying 'yes' to everything until I could no longer think. If all these failed I used dissociation which is the ultimate numbing device and very difficult to break the habit.  One of the things KavinCoach did for me was to face my emotions as a fully functional adult.  As a child, experiences were overwhelming.  He walked me through reconnecting to emotions that I numbed.  I still read books, eat, play computer games, and work but I no longer use these activities to numb my emotions.  I learned that if I address my emotions as soon as I am aware of them the processing is much easier.  Very similar to working with ceramic clay.  If I work it while it is damp, I can work it into any shape I need. But if I wait until it dries, they it no longer responds to my working it.  I am learning more and more every day about how I react and how to address my emotions at the time I have them.  This is fairly new to me.  I am not perfect at this.  I am noticing that if I am doing something and the purpose seems to shut out my feelings I try to look at the cause and not the symptom.