|How we got to the bottom of the falls.|
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
I spent a life time accepting limits that would cause me to pass out if I ignored them. I learned brutally that one more jump could cause a complete collapse. I learned that sitting quietly for hours on end was my only choice. Then I started fighting back. I started raging against the oppressive limitations. Nothing changed. I started doing research. Lots of it. I spent hours in the library on the very new intranet that connected hospital libraries. I learned a lot of things that I didn't have and I felt very thankful. From all my research I felt at a loss what to do with what I learned. At church someone shared the story about the man with leprosy that was told to bath 7 times in the Jordan river. He wasn't going to do anything so simple. Then the servant pointed out if he was asked to do something difficult would he do it? I started setting seven simple goals. Then I learned from Flylady.org to take baby steps. Baby stepping my way back into life one tiny goal at a time. I started my journey back to living 25 years ago. Today I jumped up stairs 2 at a time after an hour working out stretching and pushing my body in ways I didn't believe possible. I started seeing my limits as my new goals. If I could only be up for 20 minutes then the next day be up for 25 minutes. I accepted back slides and called it chacha. Like an inch worm, I fixed my eyes on a far goal but paid attention to where I was at. I accepted my slow creeping pace. I made progress. I pushed more limits. I hiked for miles. I traversed over 300 stairs. My motivation was a better picture of the Yellowstone Falls. The beauty was magnificent. I pushed past my intense fear of metal stairs that you can see through. I kept in mind the goal was worth the anxiety. Too often in my quest to stay in my comfort zone I shorted myself. But I also learned to respect my body and nurture it. Sunscreen, water, healthy meals, and sleep made this trip an amazing adventure. I am pushing limits and seeing how far I have come and looking forward to future possibilities.