Today worked out wonderfully. I appreciate my sister commenting yesterday that I pushed but didn't bully. (However, I can go all drill Sargent, I work hard not to.) It just so happened that the lesson on boundaries the other teacher and I had for the students happened today. It gave me great ground work for talking to the student. I apologized for pushing his emotional boundaries and thankfully he accepted my apology. Interesting thing for me was I didn't feel a lingering shame that I made a mistake. I acknowledged what I did and suggested a plan to solve future issues. Sweetly my sister reminded me that it is my job as a teacher to nudge a student into new territory. I am glad that I made this correction. I am also glad that school is only 7 more weeks and I am sincerely thankful I never became a teacher.
The experience is so draining. By the time I am done with the school day, I don't want to do anything but play computer games. My house fairy is helping with my dishes. The rest of the house is neglected. I am learning that others shut down like I do when tough stuff comes into the discussion. The other teacher helped the students define a boundary I shared how to build boundaries. Interesting that I finally learned that boundaries start with knowing what is mine. Next building on that what belongs to you is not mine for the taking. Boundaries is the stuff that toddlers seem to know by instinct. It gets pounded out of them later. So I am feeling a little less out of sorts. I am thankful that I am finding a way to reach and teach some of the students. Other students are putting in their time with no intention to learning anything. I love working at a school where students will open doors for me, offer to help, and generally create an atmosphere of lets work together. Security like our school since it is the closest thing to retiring and still get a pay check. This is starting to sound like one of those it's-a-good-thing/it's-a-bad-thing. I don't think I am to the point of feeling like I am enjoying teaching but I am to the point that I figure I can get through the school year.