This week a friend addressed a blog entry calling for freeing of slaves today. Yes, human trafficking is alive and twisted as ever. A link talked about freeing a woman from the bonds of her master. My concern is a slave isn't free until the bonds in their mind are released.
I created the picture above at the beginning of my photographic career titled: "Prisoner of My Mind." I tried to depict how circumstances can change but your own mind can keep you chained to the past. An example I can share is how elephants are trained. When an elephant is very young the trainer chains the small elephant to a heavy post or wall. No matter how hard the little elephant pulls it can not break free. This is done over a long period of time. If the baby elephant never breaks free as an adult elephant it will stand calmly when a strap with a small rope is placed around the leg. In the elephants mind the pressure on the leg means that escape is impossible. Prisoners in concentration camps were terrified when their cells were first opened. The hell within they understood. Outside the cell was an unpredictable world. Some probably suspected a new kind of tortuous trick. Acceptance to the change of circumstances came slowly.
I remember during my first year of counseling several different times questioning KavinCoach about having a choice. He would ask me why I did something that I didn't like. My answer was usually, I had to. He then asked if somebody was holding a gun to my head. NO. But in my mind, conditioning from my childhood, I believed I had to do what I was told to do by someone I thought in authority. The event that caught my attention was the one that happened during the first year of counseling. I became a member of group that helped women regain a feeling of trust in the world. It didn't go well for me since I hadn't told much at the beginning about my life experiences. In one of the tasks they blinded folded me. (Mistake number 1, I can't stand being blind folded.) Then I was supposed to walk across the room listening to someone give me instructions. (Mistake number 2, I have a hard time hearing and I didn't have hearing aides yet, so I couldn't hear the instructions very well.) While I was walking, one of the moderators of the group stood in front of me calling counter commands. (Mistake number 3, I would totally freak out if given two different commands.) I stood totally still trying to control the terror that was taking over my mind. Then I grabbed the person in front of me and shoved her aside so I could complete the task. I was shaking with suppressed rage and anxiety when I was finished. At my next session with KavinCoach I told him about the horrible ordeal. KavinCoach calmly asked, "Why didn't you take off the blind fold and say you can't do this?" I stared at him, probably with my mouth dropped open. I retorted that I couldn't do that because they had told me I had to do it. I felt confused and startled at an option I never considered to be possible. I still struggle with the concept that I can choose now that I am an adult. I was conditioned as a child to follow orders. I still struggle with the idea that just because someone tells me to do something doesn't mean I have to do it. KavinCoach is teaching me how to walk out of the prison in my mind.
I created the picture above at the beginning of my photographic career titled: "Prisoner of My Mind." I tried to depict how circumstances can change but your own mind can keep you chained to the past. An example I can share is how elephants are trained. When an elephant is very young the trainer chains the small elephant to a heavy post or wall. No matter how hard the little elephant pulls it can not break free. This is done over a long period of time. If the baby elephant never breaks free as an adult elephant it will stand calmly when a strap with a small rope is placed around the leg. In the elephants mind the pressure on the leg means that escape is impossible. Prisoners in concentration camps were terrified when their cells were first opened. The hell within they understood. Outside the cell was an unpredictable world. Some probably suspected a new kind of tortuous trick. Acceptance to the change of circumstances came slowly.
I remember during my first year of counseling several different times questioning KavinCoach about having a choice. He would ask me why I did something that I didn't like. My answer was usually, I had to. He then asked if somebody was holding a gun to my head. NO. But in my mind, conditioning from my childhood, I believed I had to do what I was told to do by someone I thought in authority. The event that caught my attention was the one that happened during the first year of counseling. I became a member of group that helped women regain a feeling of trust in the world. It didn't go well for me since I hadn't told much at the beginning about my life experiences. In one of the tasks they blinded folded me. (Mistake number 1, I can't stand being blind folded.) Then I was supposed to walk across the room listening to someone give me instructions. (Mistake number 2, I have a hard time hearing and I didn't have hearing aides yet, so I couldn't hear the instructions very well.) While I was walking, one of the moderators of the group stood in front of me calling counter commands. (Mistake number 3, I would totally freak out if given two different commands.) I stood totally still trying to control the terror that was taking over my mind. Then I grabbed the person in front of me and shoved her aside so I could complete the task. I was shaking with suppressed rage and anxiety when I was finished. At my next session with KavinCoach I told him about the horrible ordeal. KavinCoach calmly asked, "Why didn't you take off the blind fold and say you can't do this?" I stared at him, probably with my mouth dropped open. I retorted that I couldn't do that because they had told me I had to do it. I felt confused and startled at an option I never considered to be possible. I still struggle with the concept that I can choose now that I am an adult. I was conditioned as a child to follow orders. I still struggle with the idea that just because someone tells me to do something doesn't mean I have to do it. KavinCoach is teaching me how to walk out of the prison in my mind.
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