Putting things off

Sometimes when I am over whelmed I start putting things off.  I put off doing the dishes, I put off putting away my clothes, I put off cleaning the house and then I put off anything that may stress me the tiniest bit.  I am like an over loaded camel that knows one last straw everything will break.  How do I know?  Because I have been down that road so many times.  Before Integration I could switch to a different personality that could deal with what ever was driving me buggy.  Switching is no longer an option.  I don't have very many tools to help me cope.  KavinCoach is working on catching me up on what I didn't learn as a child.  But still there are times when I feel so overwhelmed and so ashamed that I can't just cope with whatever curve ball was thrown my way.  Sometimes when I am like this, I am counseled to stop doing some things.  The things that are suggested are the very things that keep me going.  I took over 700 pictures today.  That will translate into a whole lot of work.  The photography takes me to a peaceful place that helps me feel like I have value and worth.  I know that I need to learn that value and worth is part of who I am and not outside myself.  Unfortunately, I am not there yet.  Photography works better than a tranquilizer for me.  I focus in and for a little while I am in a place that I feel confident and capable.  Then I stop and I am back to uncertainty and ditzy.  I guess photography is a gateway to a magic kingdom where I am strong and capable.  
Magical places.