My picture widget shared an artists that really spoke to me in his art work. I felt like emailing him and asking him if he was a multiple. I can't post his pictures because I don't have permission but this is a link to the page:
http://artistaday.com/?p=14359
The top picture was the first one I saw. I really had to look carefully to see the girl and just not the pieces. I noticed that sometimes staring at the pieces I lose the picture of myself. Sometimes when I stare at myself I still see the pieces.
PTSD :
The Mayo clinic it describes it as "Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that's triggered by a terrifying event. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event."
This is just the tip of the iceberg.
Here is their list of symptoms:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/DS00246/DSECTION=symptoms
Post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms are generally grouped into three types: intrusive memories, avoidance and numbing, and increased anxiety or emotional arousal (hyperarousal).They are missing some of the more interesting things like can't swallow, can't hear, nausea, and other physical responses. I get to the point of feeling like I am doing very well then another trigger is hit. Sometimes I don't even know what set off the problem. It just shows up as increased nightmares, not being able to eat cause I can't swallow, having my hearing aides in and I still see their lips move but I hear nothing. I start to feel anxious and sleeping worse I start to look at my life to see what is causing so much upset. I wish I could figure this stuff out on my own but my mind gets jumbled. I was lucky and NewCounselor has an opening for me to talk to him. Maybe talking out all the things that are pressing on my mind will bring the jitters back under control. If you have PTSD or know someone who does. Be patient with yourself or them.
Symptoms of intrusive memories may include:
Symptoms of avoidance and emotional numbing may include:
- Flashbacks, or reliving the traumatic event for minutes or even days at a time
- Upsetting dreams about the traumatic event
Symptoms of anxiety and increased emotional arousal may include:
- Trying to avoid thinking or talking about the traumatic event
- Feeling emotionally numb
- Avoiding activities you once enjoyed
- Hopelessness about the future
- Memory problems
- Trouble concentrating
- Difficulty maintaining close relationships
- Irritability or anger
- Overwhelming guilt or shame
- Self-destructive behavior, such as drinking too much
- Trouble sleeping
- Being easily startled or frightened
- Hearing or seeing things that aren't there
5 comments:
Maybe it'd be helpful if you didn't think of it as PTSD and just thought of it as fear. If a kid was nervous before their first day of school, would you say they had PTSD? If a baby is terrified of going into the water at the kiddie pool, would you say they have PTSD?
Maybe if PTSD never goes away...then it isn't a disease at all. Maybe it's just fear, maybe it's just feelings, maybe it's just the ups and downs of life. Everyone has ups and downs. Everyone feels scared sometimes. Everyone has nightmares. Your parents and sexual abuser were real threatening horrible people. Of course, you feel scared sometimes. You don't want that to happen again. If you went through it, you know how to prevent it. You know how to stop it. You know a bad situation when you see one. If it feels dangerous, then maybe it is dangerous. Do you want to accept that and give it a try? Or do you want to turn around and walk away because it's totally not worth it? Practice saying yes and no. Listen to your feelings.
PTSD is not the same as normal fear/survival instinct. You can take a soldier out of a war zone but the war zone remains in their mind. The severity of the trauma depends on their experiences which is the case with any survivor of a trauma.
Great post ((Ruth))
Glad NC had an opening for you. Talking to someone who understands can really help.
It seems like these symptoms have really flared up for you at the moment? I wonder what has caused that.
Beautiful butterflies.
PTSD to me is just another loss of control. As a child, you were not in control of what happened. Now, since it's impossible to predict 100% of your triggers, there must be times when you feel you're not in control.
I see you getting better and better at regaining control even when a trigger sneaks up on you unexpectedly. One day at a time, one step at a time...you'll win!
Thank you for all your kind comments. I am feeling out of control on some things. Changes are happening some good, some not so good. I will focus on what I can do about and I am not sure what to do with the rest. I will have to think about that.
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