Walk Therapy

My sister and I go walking almost every Saturday morning.  We walk around a town man-made lake, well more of a pond.  3 times around equals 2 miles and we talk about everything and anything that comes to mind.  I groused about how I was feeling off kilter and wondering how to cope with out being a multiple.  We chatted back and forth.  She reminded me that I wasn't born a multiple.  We kept walking and talking about all sorts of subjects, her writers conference, government, news stories, family, and anything else we thought of.  Then we headed to her house for breakfast.  We sat out in the drive way chatting.  I thanked my sister for reminding me why I worked so hard to integrate...I wasn't born that way.  In fact, not one single person that is a multiple personality is born that way.  I am really proud of surviving a terrible childhood.  I appreciate being a multiple to survive under extreme conditions.  But I wasn't born that way.  Multiples are made usually in early childhood from extreme trauma.  One part of the person divides off to protect the self.  Another alter takes over and does things that the self would never do.  I learned to love my alters and I didn't want them lost in the process.  Yet, Maria would have handled the mock wedding on Friday with ease.  I turned tail and ran.  NewCounselor suggested that I can use each of the alters strengths to add to mine.  I need to ponder how I can draw on Maria's skills in large crowds and parties.  I don't expect that I will ever prefer large crowds or parties because for me there is too much input.  I want to be able to be comfortable enough at a part or crowd that I can stay and be with people that I enjoy.  I heard a speech at a women's conference that to cope in a situation that is uncomfortable, reframe how you view the situation.  The example he gave was that he was a writer that interviewed people and what they do.  As a writer he is required to do a book signing.  He really dislikes these.  He decided to reframe how he viewed the book signing to being a whole bunch of short mini interviews.  By reframing his book signing he turned it into an event he now loves to do.  I appreciate my sister walking with me yesterday, her encouragement and acceptance helps me over and over again. 

Bloom where you grow.