Occasionally, I sit down to write a post and I either draw a complete blank or so much is crowding my head I can't write anything. I looked at my list of drafts, half started posts, and couldn't think what to say today. I am catching myself playing mindless computer games like my life depends on it. I am running away. Today I need to stop and figure out ~ what am I running away from?
I wish I could say I was running to something but I realized today that I don't run to something I always run away. That is a fear based life. I believe change my purpose, I will change my heart and mind set. Sometimes, I wish I could do a hard reboot and straighten out some of my files. This weekend I will be out of touch of my computer. I need to reevaluate where I am going...and more importantly...Why?
6 comments:
After a lifetime of trying to meet impossible standards set by others, sometimes we set impossible standards for ourselves. A well-earned day of mindless games might be a good thing.
Hugs P/M
Thanks mulderfan. I appreciate the hug. :)
Thinking of what Mulderfan said, maybe that's the reason we play games, because unlike our parents, games are consistent and achievable, and I think there's a certain comfort in the repetition. I suppose that's why in the past people used rocking chairs, I am seriously thinking of getting one if I can work out where to put it.
I wish too that I could reboot my brain when it gets stuck in the fear loop, I've been thinking lately about what it would feel like to run on love rather than fear and guilt. It came to my mind because we have a friend that oozes love, and it's not that he does anything extraordinary, it just seems to emanate from him in a very understated manner, after spending time with him you just feel like you've been enveloped in a comforting, loving hug.
Love xx
Thanks Kara, I appreciate your insight. I agree with you that running on love sounds like a much better way to live. :)
Not that there's anything wrong with mindless games or anything. But I also find when I'm entranced by a mindless activity, I'm running from myself. You could try stopping, not doing anything else, and focusing inwards....Stuff will come up, guaranteed. In my experience.
Good luck with it Ruth. Looking forward to hearing what you find (if you want to share it).
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