Thursday, December 18, 2014

Set Aside

Dissociation is a powerful survival tool but can really interfere with living.  I am learning to use it on a temporary basis.  Last month I was working on a series of questions.  I realized the introspection was difficult when I had so much going on.  Family gathering from the western half of the United States requires planning, preparations, and focus.  Turning inward was not a good choice.  I decided to set the questions aside for a bit.  I also realized that in my effort to work on my PTSD web page I was pulling more and more of the research into my Facebook.  I am not defined by PTSD.  So I am using a diluted version of dissociation to set aside certain parts of things that I will work on later.  Some people call this compartmentalizing.  It is a useful tool.  Living in the moment and setting reflections and worry off to the side, temporarily.  I emphasize the temporary part because if I just bury things then I am sliding backwards into burying my feelings.  Now I am telling them, I will give you center stage at a later date, I'm busy right now.   If I follow through on my promise, I notice that my feelings are willing to wait.  I am aware that compartmentalization at an extreme level can be as unhealthy as extreme dissociation.  But like many tools remember to use the small hammer instead of the 10 lb sledge.  January is a time to evaluate as I plan for the New Year.  I will revisit the questions and continue my research on PTSD later. 

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