Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Saving marriage

He asked people to share...

I read Richard's blog with a great deal of interest.  I passed 38 years of marriage and I was curious as to what helped in his marriage.  I started counseling to improve my marriage.  I was impressed that what he tried in his marriage is what my counselor suggested in mine.  Interesting how asking your partner what you can do to ease their day changes the whole feel of the marriage.  The thing I struggled with is that in marriage my husband and I were on the same side.  My counselor reassured me over and over that I should put my trust in my husband.  Easier said than done.  Many of our sessions centered on learning how to work together instead of against each other.  I am fully aware that not every marriage is going to work out.  My husband and I are fortunate.  We learned to invite each other to work together.  We learned to listen with our hearts and not just our ears.  We learned that sometimes being right is not the goal.  We learned a lot while I tried to learn a whole different way of functioning.  What we learned as a couple continues to bless our lives.  I like the metaphor used by KavinCoach that we were like climbers tied to each other.  Where one went the other had to follow.  Also, if one went down, we both went down.  If we moved forward together, we could accomplish more than what either one of us could do alone.  I feel blessed that I sought counseling that changed my life in ways I never dreamed.  Kept my marriage together.  Changed despair into hope.  I still have tough days.  My husband and I still have disagreements.  But I feel like I am part of a team.  It feels good.

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