Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Changing how I viewed myself

The one of the most difficult things I did during counseling was change how I viewed myself.  Setting boundaries I had to learn that I deserved to have healthy boundaries.  Holidays I had to learn to I deserved to have a joyful holiday.  Early in my counseling I told KavinCoach that I felt like I had a target on my back that said 'kick here.'  He replied, 'You do.'  He then went on to explain that how I walked, how I responded to people, how I viewed myself all shouted to every predator "Here's a sitting duck waiting to be abused."  I had to changed everything about myself. He started with teaching me how I viewed myself and all the rest followed.  Karate is helping me with the transformation.  I'm thankful for teachers that showed me how to take off the 'kick here' sign.

Nobody likes it when the boundaries change. “They” didn’t like it when I started asking for mutual respect~ why would they?? I had always put up with mal treatment before. I wasn’t asking for the moon, I was just asking for mutual relationship. Everyone was accustomed to me jumping through ALL the hoops, everyone saw my mother and my in-laws push me around, saw me cater to my husband, saw me put myself last and without my realizing it I showed everyone what I would accept. It is understandable that it took a while for me to change the way that I had communicated all those years. But it has paid off. Darlene Ouimet ~Author ~Emerging from Broken the Beginning of Hope for Emotional Healing

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