Sleeping

Woohoo, I'm sleeping.  Down side, I'm not writing in my blogs.  At night is when I do most of my writing.  Today, I am going to school late so I can stay late for the fashion show.  I'll be taking pictures and documenting the event for the students.  I'm enjoying school again.  The new teacher we were waiting for arrived.  She is a lovely lady and I am giving a big sigh of relief that many of my struggles at school are now over.  I can focus on one class instead of trying to juggle two different curriculum.  I realize I am an assistant but I still need to know the content.  Fortunately with Fashion, sewing professionally for years, photography degree, and personal interest in interior design makes my job much easier.  This week I also talked to the students about surviving abuse.  My emphasis is that abuse influences my life but doesn't define my life.  I shared with them a definition for thriving that goes something like this, "Thriving is waking up in the morning excited about what you will be doing that day.  Looking forward to learning new things."  By this definition I am thriving.  I love it. 

I remember not all that long ago, I would wake up, move, feel pain, damn I'm not dead I have to get up.  Another grueling day, knowing, yes I said knowing, I would pass out sometime during the day.  I am thankful I didn't give up then.  I kept struggling forward even if it was inch by inch in an army crawl through emotional sludge.  I was determined not to stay where I was.  I am thankful for the counselor that taught me what I needed to do to build boundaries.  He believed me and believed in me.  He taught me about relationships.  He taught me that not everyone wants to hurt me.  He challenged me to grab hold of my prickly life and hang on no matter what.  I did.  Now, I am thriving, just liked he told me at the beginning of counseling. He told me, "I don't want you to just survive, I want you to thrive."  He saw a vision for my life long before I knew what thriving was.  I am thankful for his encouragement to get where I am today.  I AM THRIVING.