Richard Bach
I am working my way through a list of Things I can do to promote positive self-concept in a child written by Miss C. I then take the quote and rewrite to a way I can nurture myself and improve my self-concept.
9. Showing a basic feeling of worth and dignity towards children. A visitor in the home would never be told, "Look what a mess you have made. Don't you know how to clean up after yourself?" Children also need respect.
I was often frustrated with myself with how I spoke to my children. Being sick and tired only worsened my behavior. One of the things I hear consistently from ACoNs is the complaint that not only they were not treated with respect as children, they are now not treated with respect as adults. Many a blog stated, "I don't want their love just some respect." Going no contact often has roots in lack of respect. I am doing much better with my grandchildren showing them respect. It is also easier since they go home. I get a break and am excited to see my kids and their families. I think I learned a great deal about the importance of respect from upsi and mulderfan. Over at jonsi's blog she posts then analyzes comments, tweets and emails showing how their words show lack of respect. Both my counselors spent many sessions teaching me what respect is and how to show respect to others. Respect has a lot to do with boundaries. Respect also has an element of feeling. I need to feel like I am respected.
Turning this around how do I need to change my behavior so that I show respect to myself. How is my self talk? Do I call myself stupid when I forget and appointment or miss a deadline? Do I berate myself for not meeting impossible high standards? Do I respect my need for space and time to transition? If I don't show respect for myself, how can I expect anyone else to treat me with respect? These are some of the toughest changes I am making in my life. Too often, I revert to the old ugly script from my childhood. I need to let the ugly script go and rewrite a kinder more respectful self dialogue that encourages me in the same way I try to encourage our grand children. I believe self-respect is one of the key components to self-confidence. I am a work in progress and I won't get it all right tomorrow but this one deserves my attention every day since I have 100% control over what I say to myself.
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| How is my behavior through the eyes of a child? |
1 comment:
Respect was the only thing I asked my parents for as an adult. Guess it was too much to ask!
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