Happy 2012B......

You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body. 
~C.S. Lewis

Cool friends leave interesting posts on Facebook.  My friend proposed, since many people fear the number 13, that we instead enjoy 2012B.  I laughed thinking about writing that for a year or how it would mess up a computer if you wrote 2012B in the year space designated for 4 numbers.  The computer would declare that you are an invalid.   Computers are so narrow minded and unwilling to try new ideas.  It is their way or the high way....

I decided to wait until I woke up in this New Year before writing this post.  (I prefer to write my posts the day before so my friends, in parts of the world that start the day earlier than I do, can see something fresh for the day.)  I sat here until 3 this morning not sure what I wanted to say.  I don't do resolutions because I hate the tinkle-linkle-link of them all breaking in the first week of January.  Or the shame I feel in February when I succumb to too much chocolate again. Or the slump in July when I still have 5 months to Christmas and all my plans and projects fall into a melted puddle of 120° sweltering heat.  I celebrate the first of the year because this is a piece of time I always kept track of since everyone else celebrated it.  I could loose days or weeks but years usually made sense.

I make plans or goals or new directions to go anything but resolutions.  Plans or goals can be edited and revised. Straying off on to a detour doesn't shatter a goal just takes longer to get there.  My goal to graduate from college took over 30 years.  I was side tracked by getting married and raising 6 amazing kids but my goal was still accomplished just took me awhile. Ten years of that time was one class at a time.  Carved out of an already crazy schedule.  Counseling was another big chunk of time.  I learned from Dr. Banks in his speech on mental hygiene that the time is going to pass anyway I may as well do what I long to do and not worry about how long it takes.

And for those that you do want, I give you this advice that Dr. Banks (Psychiatrist)
gave one of his clients when they said they wanted to go back to college.

Dr. Banks: Why don't you go back to college?
Client: Are you kidding? I'm 40 years old! If I go back for 5 years of college, I'll
be 45!
Dr. Banks: How old will you be in 5 years if you don't go to college?
Client: 45, same number how come?

http://forums.syfy.com/index.php?showtopic=2299235&st=40

 I am no longer afraid of time.  It is now on more of continuum then ever before.  I turned 55 and joked that I am now exceeding the age limit.  I felt irritated by the feeling that because I am older I should be setting more limited goals.  I followed a link to a link to this guy that wrote bout doing impossible things. 

Meet Joel- http://impossiblehq.com/

Don't let who you are now keep you from becoming who you are going to be. 

I signed up to do impossible work outs.  I am registered to do a 5K mud run in February.  In March I found a 10 K to try if I survive the mud run.... Joel excepts no excuses.  He changed himself and was so enthusiastic he wants to change everyone he knows.  He is not a guy that will just accept you the way you are; he expects people to change. 

I am making plans to try new things in 2013.  For Christmas I gave myself watercolors to see if I like painting with them.  I didn't consider them at first because the colors are fuzzy.  Not sharp like photography but blurry like a memory half forgotten.  I don't have those types of memory.  I get down to the color of the tile type memory or nothing.  I have a lot of nothing.  So this vague fuzzy not sure how I feel type of fuzzy water colors is different.  I am giving myself a year to try it out.
Advantages:
it cleans up with water, no smelly chemicals.
Can be done indoors or outside.
Allows layers of colors blended with translucent colors.
Softness that is different than what I am used to
A challenge

These are two of my physical goals for the year.  Concrete doable. Challenging.

I learned when I fought to get my physical health back that I also need emotional and spiritual goals.  I have a monster emotional goal....by the end of the year I plan to stop counseling, not because I am giving up, but because I have the tools I need to move forward with a little help from my friends instead of the major reconstruction work of counseling.  I found out who I want to be authentic, caring, involved, enthusiastic, emotional, or as Livebegins45 stated, a person of substances.

My spiritual goal is huge.  God gave me a challenge to write a workshop about depression from my religious point of view using scriptures for the backbone of references.  KavinCoach proposed the idea over 2 years ago.  I wrote the first chapter on having a relationship with Christ.  It took me a year to write one.  I felt overwhelmed and inadequate since I don't know my scriptures as well as I feel I need for this project.  I feel like I will need a lot more knees time praying to write what I need to write for this one.  The one thread in life that kept me from sinking into the abyss of my past was my faith in a loving Heavenly Father that loved me so much that He sent his Son Jesus Christ to fulfill the atonement.  Somewhere in my darkest hours, I realized Christ would have suffered and died even if I was the only person in the world.  It was all about me.  He wanted to pave the path for me to come to Him.

Yup, I have some heavy duty goals for this year.  I have done the impossible before, I can do it again.  January 1, 2014 will be upon me fast....this year my blog will share my journey of thriving in 2013.

Happy New Year