Is it really impossible?

"Always make a total effort,
even when the odds are against you."
- Arnold Palmer



Beating the odds.  When I watch football with DH I tend to root for the underdogs even if it is the 'wrong' team.  I cheer for an awesome play even if it is the 'other guys.'  I just love the whole beating the odds idea.  I was told regularly that I couldn't do something, I was too young, a girl, not smart enough, too weak... now being told I couldn't do something is almost a sure fire way to get me to do it.  Part of that is fighting my past and how many things I didn't do because I was told that I wasn't capable.  I some times wonder if my mother discouraged me from trying because she wanted to save me from disappointment.  What I learned that you always lose if you never try.  When I was 30 years old I was a semi-invalid for almost 3 years.  I was tired of living most my life in bed and started to fight back.  I felt like a snail at the Boston Marathon.  It took years of work to regain my health.  Then I had cancer.  All that work just to find out I had cancer.  But here's the deal, all that work taught me to keep going.  I beat cancer.  Then I started counseling.  You know, for me, cancer was a piece of cake compared to counseling.  I learned in the first 6 months how messed up I was.  I could wrap myself in a blanket and sit in a corner rocking back-n-forth lamenting that I got a lousy start to life.  That was an option.  Or I could step up and fight back.  I could relearn how to live.  Fortunately, I was working with a very healthy and compassionate counselor, KavinCoach.  He told me straight that I was an emotional moron and changing my life would be difficult but at no point did he tell me to quit because it was impossible.  I found out later that on the average he works with people for about 2 years.  He spent 7 1/2 years teaching me how to live.  I decided that he was willing to work with me that long because I was willing to do the homework.  The hard stuff.  The impossible.  I am still working with NewCounselor.  However, I am realizing that I have the tools I need to move forward on my own.  I am checking in with him once a month.  I started looking for a new challenge.  I learned that for me when I am seeking the way opens and God knows me well enough to know I thrive on challenges.   I followed a link that followed another link until I found someone else that enjoys doing the impossible and blogs about it.  Meet Joel, he does the impossible and encourages anyone to do the same. http://joelrunyon.com/two3/impossible-hq-2012 His challenges are physical efforts.  That is OK.  I am entering his contest to use one of his programs to get into physical shape.  I love his mantra "No Excuses."   Having a lousy childhood is just that an excuse not a reason.  Mental illness is a difficult challenge but not impossible.  PTSD is with me for life but it doesn't define me.  I study others that take on impossible task.  Michael Angelo and the Sistine Chapel.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sistine_Chapel_ceiling  Chihuly Glass http://www.chihuly.com/ Blinded in one eye he was told to quit blowing glass or recreate himself.  He no longer blows glass himself but he acts much like a symphony director in creating some of the most amazing glass pieces in the world.  Anne Sullivan taught Helen Keller how to communicate. http://www.biography.com/people/anne-sullivan-9498826 Gandhi a man that set out to free his country and did.  http://history1900s.about.com/od/people/a/gandhi.htm I learned from each of them different ways that people achieve impossible results.  I also keep in mind the scripture that says Mark 10:27 (KJV) 27 And Jesus looking upon them saith, With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible.  I learned if I can't stand it, try my knees.  Along with the work I have prayed.  I studied on my own.  I read books and books on multiple personality disorder including a few chapters that tried to tell me that there was no such thing.  As I recall, I threw the book across the room.  Since it was a library book, I took it back instead of shredding it.  I started this blog to share that integrating multiple personalities is not impossible.  I will agree that it is hard.  This blog evolved into sharing that a lousy childhood makes living healthy difficult but not impossible.  No excuses, I can choose to live an emotionally, physically, and spiritually healthy life.  The only thing stopping me is myself.  Bring myself on board and I will do what it takes to achieve the impossible.