Non-issue

"The indispensable first step to getting
the things you want out of life is this:
decide what you want."
- Ben Stein
Click Here For Success Tip # 008

Sometimes I drag my feet, watch tv, play games....I don't want to put into writing this challenge from NewCounselor.  I talked about frustrations that bubbled up to the surface.  One of them is my life-time on going battle with clutter.  It is so tied up and wrapped around my past and feeling like if I get rid of stuff I loose a piece of myself, so many layers of yuck involved.  NewCounselor asked me why I was still letting my mother control my life.  Yes, I was keeping stuff that she would have made me throw it away.  But that is just it, I am keeping stuff to defy my mother and not because I want it or love it or use it.  It is still about her and not about me.  I listened very carefully to his challenge....make anything about my mother a non-issue.  If I keep something it is about me wanting to keep it.  If I throw it away it is about me no longer needing or wanting something.  I actually got rid of some stuff that has hung around unused for almost 20 years.  I don't see NewCounselor for a month so I will be interested in how much more progress I will make.  I have one room in my house that is reminiscent of a hoarder's house.  My challenge can I tackle this room without nausea, lightheaded, shaking, you know all the normal PTSD reactions that set in when I try to tackle mounds of stuff.  Right now I am visualizing clean.  True it is still not done but the image in my head is so appealing.  I worked a long time in reclaiming my life.  Now, I am taking steps into thriving, my past is a non-issue.  I am living here and now.  I want a space where I can work on sewing, jewelry making, projects, painting, a place of peace.  I can't create that peace in turmoil of clutter.  My mother's obsession of eliminating everyone else's clutter no longer needs to control me.  It won't be an easy habit to break.  I do not have to have things perfect.  I set the standard of what is enough.  Bit by bit I can do this.