Its not about me

Narcissists do great things unfortunately some of their relationships suck.  mulderfan commented on my post about MRI machines that her late brother was on a team that helped develop them.  I am thankful for MRIs.  Saved me more than once from costly surgeries.  I helped my mother at her school and felt jealous of how she treated her students.  Over and over I read blogs written by survivors of narcissistic parents, siblings, and spouses.... "Nobody would believe how they treat me when nobody is looking."  This was actually a key symptom that helped me finally realize that my mother's behavior was deliberate.  She would actually look around to make sure we were alone before she would say something cutting or just plain cruel.  She was careful always claiming that she was a New Yorker and people were just like that.  However, she spent years in Connecticut and I loved the time that a fellow New Yorker replied, "I was raised in New York and I don't behave like that."  I would have loved being a mouse in a corner for that one.  Narcissistic actors and actress may be magnificent to watch on the screen but their failed relationships are splashed across the tabloids.  I think a person has to be part Narcissistic to survive in politics.  I find them at stores, work place, freeways, events, and so many different places.  I am learning to spot them faster and when possible I set up avoidance patterns.  I have learned a thing or two.  The most powerful thing I learned is when they verbally attack me, IT IS NOT ABOUT ME.  Their frustration, their bitterness, their offended feelings are all about them.  I do not need to do anything but exist to upset them.  This frees me from needing to fix their problems, soothe their tempers, or mend my ways.  I learn more all the time.  I don't think I can eliminate every narcissist in my life but I don't need to let them run my life.