Judge Not

 Matthew 7:1-5

 1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.

 2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

 3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

 4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?

 5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

I believe that Matthew 7:1 is one of the most frequently taken out of context scriptures in the New Testament.  The original context referred to hypocrites and those that judged others while doing things that were much worse behind closed doors.  'Don't judge me' was an oft cried injunction by people that knew exactly how I felt about something but chose to do something else.  I happen to believe we have a responsibility to make judgements about many things every day.  We make a judgement when we choose one TV show over another.  We make a judgement when we choose spaghetti or lasagna for dinner.  I know I was judged as a snob and ignoring others before getting hearing aides.  Not hearing people talk to me set me up to be judged as lacking in many social skills.   Making a wrongful judgement is easy when we don't have all the information, caution is required.  I learned from being raised by a narcissistic parents that many accusations heaped upon me were not about me at all.  Projection of short comings onto others I believe is the intent of Matthew 7:1-2.  The second example of the mote (splinter of wood) and the beam (beams in Biblical times were closer to logs) clarifies that intent.  I discovered that I could not chastise my children for how messy their rooms were when my room was the messiest. "Judge not" is now misused to manipulate others in accepting behavior they consider objectionable.   Ever heard, "If you are really Christian, you wouldn't judge me?"  I will agree that I do not decided whether or not someone is condemned to hell, although I may tell them to go there.  I can not decide who will be in heaven either...this is not a judgement I can make.  However, I do have a responsibility to decide who I allow into my home.  I have a responsibility to set appropriate boundaries.  I need to decide if I am alone with some people.  I need to judge if someone is trustworthy before sharing something confidential about myself.  Setting boundaries is a form of judgement and vital to healthy living.  I learned that people that are trying to bully me or push past my boundaries may tell me I am judgmental to manipulate me into accepting their standards instead of my own boundaries.  Raising teenagers gave me plenty of opportunity to review my own prejudices.  I need to listen, observe, and make up my own mind about different issues.  I may take someone else's advice or recommendation but the choices I make are my responsibility so I need to make a judgement of how to act or  react in a situation.  I make judgements every day.  The healthier I am, the better I am at setting and maintaining healthy boundaries to protect myself and open myself to those that I consider safe.  I can also change my mind if I am given new information or the situation turns out different than I expected.  Humans start making judgements from the time they are born by choosing who they respond to.  I was amazed when our new born children would wiggle their little heads around to try and locate their dad when they heard him speak.  So little, yet aware that voice is important.  We make judgments every day.  I enjoy keeping company with those people that respect my judgment even when they don't agree with me.