Often people that criticize your life are usually the same people that don't know the price you paid to get where you are today.
In Art, we were required to have critiques of our work. There were some teachers that created an atmosphere of 'Slice and Dice' whoever work was discussed. It was a brutal, ugly experience that students dreaded. However, I had a professor that showed me another side of critiques. Fortunately for me, I was in his class first. He described critiques as opportunities to discuss a piece of work using knowledge and understanding of what is possible and considered good photography. If you didn't like a photograph, you had better have specifics of why you didn't like it and what the other person could to improve their photography. If you liked the photograph, he still expected you to be able to specifically explain that too. Now, when I am criticized for behaving in a particular way, I expect them to have a specific reason. I am also learning that many times people don't know what price I paid to get where I am now. I struggled with a question about my own choices for the last several months. Walking and talking with a friend I said it myself. I made other choices along the way that led me to the place that is different than I had hoped. But I realized I do not regret the choices I made. Would I have made different choices if I realized what consequences were coming? I'm not sure. I know the price I paid to get to where I am today. I know what I have struggled through to get this far. So why am I being so critical of myself? Just reviewed an article about how to make yourself unhappy. One suggestion was to think about yourself. Here is an interesting paradox. When I didn't consider myself at all, I became more and more miserable. It was not until I looked at myself and started the process of healing past hurts that I was able to be happy. On the other hand, there is nothing like a self-pity party to really get me down. I know the price I paid to get where I am today. I need to think of myself more kindly. I don't have a fancy, high paying job. I don't have fancy clothes. I don't have a perfectly clean house. I am a bit of disaster when it comes to cleaning. But I have come a long way from where I was. I am reminding myself that self-neglect does not bring happiness. Some of the most miserable people I have ever known were self appointed martyrs. It is easy for someone outside of a situation to criticize the choices of others. They don't know the price they paid to get where they are. It is easy for me to get caught up in that criticism and criticize myself for not living up to someone else's standard. It is a behavior I was raised with. I work hard to recognize and rejoice in my own accomplishments. The stronger and better I feel about myself, the easier it is for me to recognize that someone else's criticism is more of a statement about them than a commentary about me.
Desert is often proclaimed a barren waste. I don't agree.
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