Unfair

Life's unfair.  Crap happens.  One reaction to unfair treatment is resentment.  Dictionary defines resentment "bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly."  Bitterness, anger, resentment....some of the ugly emotions.  They are not comfortable.  I don't like feeling them.  Kind of like having a picnic in a sticker patch.  No matter which way you move you get stuck.  Usual activities are unpleasant.  A constant irritation turning the day sour. Sitting with these emotions is not fun.  Peel back the layers.  What is the root cause?  What is feeding the anger?  One thing I learned from counseling is under anger another emotion is calling the shots.  I can shift the discomfort away and it won't bother me for a time.  However, I suspect, until I address the irritation and truly explore its meaning it will continue to gnaw at me like a sore tooth.  Consider the source, then look at my options.  Feelings of helplessness are recognized.  Feelings of regret.  Remind myself why I made the past decisions...where was I at emotionally and mentally when I made the decisions in the first place?  These are the questions I used to discuss with my counselors.  Now I have to work through them myself.  I could use depression to smother the emotions.  Depression puts a wet blanket on any other emotion.  I don't like depression either.  Sort through, sift my thoughts.  What do I want to accomplish?  Where do I want to go?  I'm a grandmother and still working on what I want to do when I grow up.