My sister posted this stat that it takes 5 years for something to become a habit. I agree that the 21 day time limit always seemed a little ridiculous since many a habit went by the way side on day 22. I got thinking about 5 years. It is now over 5 years since I integrated. I had several situations that really challenged my ability to stay together as one. After 5 years, my integration has stood the test of time. I am finally getting used to thinking one set of thoughts. I am realizing that I have other coping skills besides dissociation. I have a tool box of possible solutions when faced with stress. Integrated self is who I am and now I believe. I am starting to feel comfortable in my own skin. I was in counseling for 10 years. Now I am out. I am only on month 3 and feeling a bit overwhelmed. However, if I give myself 5 years to be comfortable without counseling....will 3 to 6 months of discomfort be unreasonable? I started counseling thinking it was a summer project...3 months at the longest. As I delved deeper and deeper into my own mind, I realized the folly of my thinking. It took 6 months to even begin to grasp where I was starting. In this society of instant everything, taking time to accomplish things is called lazy or unproductive or silly. Spending time to heal get statements like:
Aren't you over that yet?
Stop thinking about yesterday.
Move on.
Get over it.
When I had cancer surgery no one asked me to hurry up and get over it. I still have yearly checkups 12 years later. I have time to heal. I am going to give myself time to form new habits of living after counseling. My friend cheered with me when we talked about over coming major trigger without a counselor assisting me in processing the information. As she gently pointed out, this is a big step for me. I have another 4 1/2 years for functioning on my own without a counselor to become a habit. I can do that.
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