Let go of Fear

 Sometimes I save a message from Facebook for myself.  I place it here if someone else may find it useful too. 

RESTORATION: After a person has been spiritually abused and discarded, a number of debilitating emotions emerge from the carnage. Anger and bitterness head the list, followed by resentment and an unforgiving heart. Each of these is present, but the most debilitation emotion is fear—by far.
The abused person develops a spirit of fear that can incapacitate his or her capacity to function normally. For wounded people, natural enthusiasm and a zeal for life are routinely replaced by all consuming fear.
To experience recovery—real recovery—this is the place where the rubber meets the road. You must reach out to the Lord in your despair, in your confusion, and in your fear. Without Him, you will continue to nourish your self-defeating feelings—sometimes without even being aware of it. You may do this so much you’ll cease to be the person you know yourself to be, becoming a vestige of yourself. Instead of being strong and confident, you will become timid and apprehensive.
To escape this unwanted fate, you must renew your mind—sometimes a dozen times a day or more. You will have to remind yourself: God has not given me “a spirit of fear,” but of love, power, and a sound mind.
Because of your relationship with Him, you possess all the tools necessary to reverse the negative emotional input of your abusers. It’s all there—inside you—waiting to be utilized. All you have to do is appropriate it. Don’t allow all-consuming fear to incapacitate you.
If you haven’t already begun to repudiate your fearfulness, start today. Remember, you can still be everything God ever intended you to be, which is definitely His will. All that is stopping you is yourself.
http://mcgeeandme.net/books/the-search-for-reality

 This week my body brought up a memory that I had long forgotten.  Some people may be unaware that our bodies store memories.  When we place our bodies in the same position again, the body remembers and reacts.  Adrenalin may race through the veins.  Hyper alert to the slightest movement or sound.  Fear jumps to the forefront of the mind sometimes without any understanding why.  Other times this chain reaction includes a flashback of vivid memory explaining the reaction.  At this moment in time, prayer and turning to the Lord is the furthest from my mind.  I acknowledge that part of the reason is that God didn't protect me from really bad things happening.  It is only through careful processing of the information that I recognize and remember that Heavenly Father knew this world would have terrible things happen.  He didn't send us to avoid pain and suffering but to learn to live in spite of them.  I sometimes struggle with the concept that the very pains I suffered are the reasons why I am aware of others in their suffering.  It is my challenges that have strengthened me.  I notice that idleness is not when muscle tone is built but it is the challenge of exercise, weight lifting, and working out the muscles are built up.  As a child, I heard many stories of God's miracles protecting His children....the stories of Him putting them in harms way are told less often.  In Judges chapter 7 one such battle is explained.  The Lord reduces the soldiers to 300 and then gives very specific instructions on how to win the battle.  They stand in their places holding up their lights and blowing their trumpets.  The battle is won.  I don't always understand the purpose why I had things happen to me.  Why I wasn't protected.  Why I still struggle with how to live in this world.  I do know that I need to hold my ground and not run in fear. 

God's small creatures can live in a hostile environment.