Tuesday, October 20, 2015

But for the grace of God go I

I am continuing a critique of a series of statements dubbed Stupid phrases for people to say to someone in crisis.  This is the original article
http://communicatingacrossboundariesblog.com/2015/09/28/stupid-phrases-for-people-in-crisis/


But for the grace of God go I.

My sister, Judy, encouraged me to study grace.  God's grace is simple yet complicated.  I suspect that I'm the one complicating it.  My counselor wondered why it was that I wasn't a drug addict, alcoholic, or promiscuous.  My answer, But for the grace of God go I.  I used this statement referring to myself.  I chose God's grace or I would probably have done all three or committed suicide.  Most likely the last.  I think the error with this statement is applying it to someone else.  I believe that this statement works only as a self-realization that I would be in a bigger mess if I hadn't turned to God.  Telling someone else this statement burdens them with guilt, inadequacy, bewilderment, and many other negative feelings for there is just a hint of 'I'm better than you that you have these problems and I don't.'  Sadly, rather than comforting the person in crisis, there is another layer added of doubting themselves, questioning God, and deepening distress.  I believe when comforting someone else I need to use the platinum rule, "Do unto others as they would like to be done unto them."  May I have the grace and compassion to seek to comfort another.  I need to leave their self realization to themselves.  Sit with those in crisis. Ask how I can serve them.  Show them God's grace by my behavior rather than words that scrape against tender hearts.

God's Grace a personal struggle







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