I really needed to analyze these. Especially since I've used them. Examining what we say to ourselves and others during crisis reflects on us too.
I could never go through what you’re going through.
This one is supposed to be comforting some how elevating victims to some higher plane of strength....news flash....victims did not choose to be victims. The statement implies because of some superiority on my part I chose to go through hell. I wasn't given an option. I didn't not get to pick and choose events because I felt strong enough to suffer...what utter hogwash. If anything I believe such a statement is a foolish challenge to life to bring on the worst. The one thing I did learn it is amazing what one can live through. (Return of Jafar when one genie is making the other genie's life miserable.) That one line really stuck with me. I believe there are several negatives to this statement. It implies that I chose what I suffered. It feels patronizing like they know what I am going through. Seems like I could stop at any moment. I remember when I had cancer someone said they couldn't do what I was doing....my only thought was neither can I. As far as comforting to someone in crisis, a complete miss.