Thursday, October 29, 2015

Just call me if you need anything

I am continuing a critique of a series of statements dubbed Stupid phrases for people to say to someone in crisis.  This is the original article

I really needed to analyze these.  Especially since I've used them.  Examining what we say to ourselves an others during crisis reflects on us to.  

       Just call me if you need anything

Oh wow.  What a useless thing to say to a person in crisis.  I've heard this before.  Consider these for this phrase.....

1.  I don't know what I need how can I possibly tell you what I need.
2.  I am so overwhelmed breathing is a challenge.
3.  I'm partially deaf, it is a struggle to talk to my children on the phone.  
4.  The statement sounds like a feel good brush off.  You offered and it isn't your fault I didn't call.  
5.  When PTSD kicks into high gear, I feel worthless and undeserving of anyone's assistance.
Yup, to me this is about the most worthless thing anyone can say to me.  I could be drowning and not understand a flotation ring tossed to me.  I would stare at blankly not comprehending it could help.  I remember reading an article about the person that offered to polish all the shoes for the family who were preparing for a funeral the next day.  Sadly for me, PTSD disconnects my ability to communicate and feel nurtured by others.  One more person asking me to do something could send me into intense isolation.  I like the statement, first observe than serve.  Mostly, I hope people aren't offended when I refuse their offer for help or my refusal to call or when I retreat completely.  Interaction with people is one of the hardest things I do.  I agree with the author wholeheartedly this is a really stupid statement to say to someone in crisis.  I believe it goes on the "Never say this phrase" list.  
Just call me is as useless as this bunch of sand. 

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