My journey out of the darkness of depression.
How I changed from not just surviving but thriving.
Thursday, October 8, 2015
For those that are unfamiliar with the term stay-cation, it is time off without going on vacation. Staying home as a vacation. But for me I haven't really had a vacation. I tackled a job that I avoided for years. I have stacks and stacks of papers. I tackled some of them. Those papers that I knew I needed to keep for medical purposes were filed. I also threw away stuff that I saved for YEARS telling myself that I would fix it, do something with it, or use it. I did have a moments desire to snatch stuff back out of the trash. I peaked...bless my hubby's heart, he already took out the trash. He knows me well. I am seeing part of my floor that I haven't seen for years. I do believe that my husband keeps me from becoming one of those hoarders you see on TV. One of the challenges of growing up with multiple personalities, I didn't feel like anything belonged to me or I kept things for evidence that they happened. Healing process involves not just healthy choices but a whole new life style. I am continually frustrated by people saying they want to go back to before PTSD. My thought is why do I have to not change when I have a life changing experience? Every event that causes PTSD is a life changing experience. A persons view of the world is forever altered. I split into different personalities at 5 years old. I lived that way for over 40 years. Integrating was a life changing experience. I am different now. I am still trying to understand what that is but that's OK. Life changing experiences mean life changes. Stay-cation for me is no more restful than going on a vacation.