Am I a Narcissistic?
I have started to set boundaries with the narcissists in my life. I am realizing I have quite a few. The fascinating thing as I set boundaries (I ask my counselor to help with this project since I am just learning) I have been accused of being selfish, cruel and even narcissistic. Isn't this a bit like the pot calling the kettle black? But I knew that one of the issues of focusing on healing myself for 8 years is that I am thinking about me, a lot. Well I asked Mr. Google if there was an online test for being a narcissistic. Yup there is and here is the link:
http://www.0eb.com/
I took the test. And after years of counseling, where all I talk about is me and my problems, I have the official results from the online test. I got a zero for being narcissistic. I am so proud. I got a 0 on a test.
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| The edge of Nowhere |
14 comments:
ooh our stars must be aligned! i was taking that test last night! i got a 15, i'm proud to say. i took it again and got a 12 and was even more proud. haha. i'm just so proud to be NOT narcissistic and within normal range.
DANG, a 0. that's amazing. i don't think i'd be able to get that if i tried. to be honest, i'm not surprised!
There is a huge difference between practicing "self-care" and being selfish. We're so used to looking out for everyone but ourselves that it feels wrong but it is sooo right!
Hugs, Ruth
Hi Lisa, Congratulations on low numbers. :)
Thanks mulderfan, I am learning that 'self-care' was left out of my training. My total lack of understanding that I have not only the right but responsibility to take care of myself was one of KavinCoach's big themes for me. I am happy to say. I am learning the difference. :)
Ah, Ruth. I am not surprised. (hugs) You've been so amazingly sweet and supportive on my blog. How could you be an N?
And I think a true N wouldn't even ask the question. Ns are always trying to convince other people that they are Ns. And I've been called all those things my entire life by my parents, too. It's not that we're being selfish ... it's that for once in our life we have thought about ourselves and our emotional well being ... and that, to the N, is intolerable. How could we not continue focusing solely on them? We are too cruel. ;)
Sober Julie:
Self Reflection is a process in which our focus is upon ourselves so it's natural to question this. I am happy for you...off to take the test lol.
I am posting each of the comments that were made during the Google blackout. I love the insight shared by each of you. So, my name will come first and then the name of the person that actually said it. Thanks for your patience during the outage.
:)
Judy said:
Zero, however, I found some of the wording of the questions awkward, so I was having to choose what I leaned towards more, though I didn't actually agree with the statement. I'm embarrassed by some compliments but not all. I've worked hard to overcome that.
I really didn't like the "If I feel competent I am willing to take responsibility for making decisions." And "I like to take responsibility for making decisions." No. I try to take responsibility for my decisions, whether I like it or not, and whether or not I was competent or not. My decisions are my responsibility, period. Or is it talking about others decisions...
Interesting questionnaire.
~Judy
mulderfan has left a new comment:
There is a huge difference between practicing "self-care" and being selfish. We're so used to looking out for everyone but ourselves that it feels wrong but it is sooo right!
Hugs, Ruth
I scored a seven.
Number One Nut has left a new comment:
I've been there myself. "AM I a Narcissist too?!" Eeeek!
I think all of us go through that period of questioning when we confront our Nparents... we are so used to being UN-selfish, that setting boundaries makes us feel like we are doing the same thing we hate so much about our Narcs. Make sense?
Medical and Psychology students often go through this... when they start learning about all the things that could be wrong with their patients they will inevitabley "find" something that they "have."
It's normal to 'use yourself' as a template to compare to. Just because you can identify or relate to the disease, does not mean you have it. It takes an impartial third party to diagnose.
To this day, I am not sure if the Dragon is a Narc or not. I know she has many of the traits, I know she walks the walk, but I am too close to the situation and certainly NOT trained to diagnose anything enough to call "It" what "It is." I use the title to describe the behaviors, that's it.
Non
P.S.- I took the test too and did not meet the criteria-- but being the child of a Narc- I question it's validity and my perception of myself... after all I've been told my whole life I don't know what I am talking about and my perceptions are wrong! LOL!
lisa has left a new comment:
ooh our stars must be aligned! i was taking that test last night! i got a 15, i'm proud to say. i took it again and got a 12 and was even more proud. haha. i'm just so proud to be NOT narcissistic and within normal range.
DANG, a 0. that's amazing. i don't think i'd be able to get that if i tried. to be honest, i'm not surprised!
This test is so weird to me every time I take it because it makes me feel like I don't know myself at all. The words somehow resonate strangely. Sometimes I seem to believe one part of the conditioning I was subjected to, and sometimes the other.
Once I scored as high as 16, and yesterday I scored 6.
On "high" days I seem to believe my father's insincere boasting of me and flattery and grooming me to be a narcissist myself. On "low" days I feel insecure and believe my father's criticism. I don't know who *I* am.
I was an only child and thus both a GC and a SG, depending on the need and mood and period of life. That's confusing.
Pronoia Agape - I was one of five and had some of the same stuff. Wonderful if I did what NM wanted, the worse if I didn't. If I did well at something I was put down, if I failed I was built up. Twisted no matter which way you look at it.
I suspect on any given day the score could change since it is not like an IQ test that remains steady.
I guess the test feels like a narcissist made it - there only seems to be room for "I'm the greatest" vs. "I'm insecure". It's still within a narcissistic worldview.
There seem to be few replies that sounded like "I don't CARE about leading or following, being the best or knowing I'm far from that, being the center of attention or a wallflower, I DON'T CARE (any more)!"
Pronoia Agape - I like yours much better. :)
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