Everyone’s uniqueness contributes to new ways of seeing, hearing, feeling, and being in life. We are all divine royalty. Ron Fox
Sent by Pam Young from Innerkiddies www.innerkiddies.com
Over at i used to believe in forever. Always remember you are unique....Just like everyone else.
So many blogs I read talk about being authentic, real, honest. All worthy goals. What do I do when the real me has actually existed only 3 years? I am not even sure what the real me is. The hardest thing I had to accept was the massive change from 5 separate functioning personalities to 1 bewildered personality that I am all yet none of the others. The imagery I use is what happens to a cake mix. You mix it all together and it comes out as a single cake. It wouldn't be the same if some of the parts are missing. Now I am defining what is real to me.
I was recently complaining to my sister that my counselor was leaving me to work out all sorts of things on my own. She basically let me know that I was supposed too.
I have basic human rights but that is not who I am. I have roles mother, wife, daughter, sister, grandma, teacher assistant, photographer but that still isn't who I am. I feel like I have been searching all my life as to Who I am. I even took classes, like Search for Identity. I am starting to REALLY grasp that I have to decide what about me is authentic and real. When am I putting on a false face and when I am being myself. The reason my counselor can not help me with this; I have to do it. KavinCoach had me watch 'Runaway Bride' with Julie Roberts as one of my homework assignments. Now, years later, Oh I get it. I need to decide what type of eggs I like. I actually like hard boiled eggs if I can't have toast. Or a soft boiled egg if I can have it with toast to dip the crust in the yoke. I almost never eat eggs that way. Hmmm. I have a lot to learn about living MY life.
5 comments:
haha i know. i read your ebook the other day. it was very nice. i liked the photos a lot. they were pretty.
i recognize one of these photos!
and now your blog title makes a whole lotta more sense to me.
i was thinking the same thing today. that it's so hard when you don't know who you are. i dont know who i am...for sure...i can't tell what parts of me are real and what parts of me are fake..it has become all a vague...blurry mess. before it was strict OCD clinging to certain ideas and rules. now..its all just..vague...like i'm afloat on some kind of sea with no idea where i'm going...
it is quite weird. scary but i'm interested..
Love the cake analogy.
So far the Ruth I know is kind, gentle, funny, sensitive to others, loves animals, supportive, artistic, intelligent, hard working, inquisitive, ready to lend a hand...
All in all some pretty nice ingredients in the mix who just need to jump in the oven and bake up!
Hi Lisa, You are right the title makes a lot more sense after reading my book. :) You really describe what I am feeling right now. "blurry mess....vague....no idea where i'm going...weird...scary...." Excellent. Thanks for reading my book.
Thanks mulderfan. The jumping in the oven part should be easy come July 120 degree weather aught to do it. :) Interesting thing about jumping in the oven is that it gives the cake form and you can't frost it until it is baked. I appreciate the lovely list.
Sounds like you need to have some eggs. It's a good start to learn what you like, and enjoy it! Life's too short! As you embrace what you enjoy, other things will present themselves. It's simply the way of it. Have fun exploring!
Exploration of inner space. Sounds like fun. Thanks for your encouragement.
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